Dave Matthews Band

After reading about crapping puffins on Boudicca's blog and my subsequent comment to it, I recalled something I had heard about a couple of weeks ago but forgot to post on. If you've already heard about it I apologize, a day late and a dollar short I guess.

Complaint links rock band to dumped sewage The Dave Matthews Band's concerns for the environment stretch from marine life in Biscayne National Park to transit riders in the San Francisco Bay Area. But on Tuesday the band was accused of making a not-so-ecofriendly contribution to the Chicago River: dumping raw sewage from a tour bus onto the heads of people aboard an architectural tour boat.

I dunno if I like them more or less after this. Oh, ran across another link while searching for the article. Didn't check it out very much though. (Bou - You are forewarned...ya might not want to click this link....ohhh..yeaaah..let the morbid curiosity take control. You are all ID, baby!!) A lil something for the kiddies.

Why Me?

I got a call today for an interview. I accepted, but thought it seemed a bit fishy. I had received an email earlier today and checked out the webpage and thought NAH, seems sorta like telemarketing positions. After I got home from physical therapy (man did that ever SUCK), I had a message to call someone back for an interview. So I did, and she asked if I had received their email earlier. So I checked things out and asked her a few questions. Based upon the answers I received for those questions and the information I viewed on the website earlier today, I was more than a bit leery. I decided to check and see if there was any bad press about this company. Trying to keep a fairly objective view because ANYONE/THING is going to have bad press from somewhere. Hmmmm, I didn't think it was going to be THIS bad...Now..I am pretty damned sure I am not going to go. If even half of what these people say is true, I am not driving my happy black ass 2 hours one-way if there is even an INKLING of a scam. This is what I found after 30 seconds of searching. Not a good sign, eh? Arbordahl & Associates Though, I think it would have been cool if I had my mutual friend's, friend's (that CANNOT be grammatically correct) tape recorder and I could upload the more interesting lies on here. But, that sort of sounds like work so we'll keep it as a hypothetical for now.

BTW

I found out this weekend that I will not have to worry about any fraud charges. I got a letter stating that they just wanted me to pay the money back. - which is what I was figuring I'd have to do from the onset. So, no harm no foul. And my back is feeling much better. I fell asleep last night without having to take drugs. MAN, did I sleep well. Unfortunately, there is a crapload of stuff that I have to do around this house, it's a goddamned pit.

Complete Bullshit

Ok, I try to stay away from politics and heavy duty subjects because no one really reads my longer posts. But with all of the issues that I've had going on in the past few days I've been predominantly bitching and whining about my personal life falling to shambles I completely forgot about this one. Last Thursday I was full of a righteous anger because of a couple of things which coincidentally fueled each other from two separate news sources. While sitting in the waiting room at my doctor's office I was reading a magazine (Time, or Newsweek I think, I can't remember the magazine and they have pay subscriptions to access articles so I gave up trying to find the article online) I ran across a blurb stating that the illustrious "they" wanted to have mandatory health insurance for all Americans. "Ok," I thought..."That's kinda stupid." Maybe long-term it would be great, but it's a little too close to socialized medicine. The people who cannot AFFORD health insurance (we will get to that in a minute) will be given waivers, and special grants in order to be able to attain it. "Hmmm," I pondered, "How much money is that going to be?" I cannot recall if they mentioned how many people overall were uninsured, I remember them having a bar graph that showed the expenses for a single person's health insurance annually over certain time periods. I remember 2004 was over $9,000 per person; 2006 was supposed to be an estimated at over $14,000 per person). My issue with this is..health insurance costs are rising because of the goddamned frivolous malpractice lawsuits against doctors. Their premiums are atrocious, and some doctors are opting to drop it, or get out of the medical profession altogether.

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - Dr. Rene Loyola says he has given up just about everything to keep practicing medicine. The surgeon owns no home or land, and has no savings other than a retirement plan after 29 years in the profession. He says he frequently has to turn away patients who need his help the most. Read the Rest of the Article

The common sense aspect of cost-and-demand comes into play. You don't have enough doctors, the others can charge more (which they have to do to keep up with their premiums) and soon you have a shortage of doctors on a whole, and the ones still working (and insured) are rollin'. Well, later on, I was driving back home and was listening to NPR (yeah, I know...I know...but the radio stations around here suck and you can only listen to a TOOL cd sooo many times). Well, to make a long story short, they had to say this:

The U.S. Census Bureau releases new data that shows the number of Americans living in poverty rose last year by 1.3 million people. The number of people living without health insurance also rose, to 1.4 million, according to the report. Hear the Audio

That brings the approximate total of people living under the poverty level to 35.8 million people - 12.8% of the population. Most of this is related to an increase in CHILD poverty -I believe it is stated that the rates did not change very much for those 18-65. 15.6% of the population - 45 million people - do not even HAVE health insurance. Well, when I see those numbers, I realize a slight gap. Which means that people who are above the poverty level are still not able to afford insurance. I recently had a friend tell me that the health insurance costs to cover his family of 5 was going to be $65/week. That breaks down to over $3000 per year. Not including co-pays, and any other extraneous costs that insurance won't cover. Also not sure if that includes dental insurance.* That's no pittance when you have mouths to feed and mortgages to pay. Imagine if this person were a single parent? He would likely be included in those statistics, along with his children. A frightening conundrum no? Do we raise taxes to make sure that everyone is insured? (Remember that total is 45 million people); or do we continue along the path we are going down and wind up having the rates raised higher and higher with each passing year? Or maybe, just MAYBE we can get people to stop suing doctors, and to allow for medical costs to equalize, thereby bringing down insurance costs and allowing the government programs already in place to do their goddamned work? Maybe I am oversimplifying things, I must admit that this isn't an issue I have done hours of research into. But with the information I have been fed by the "objective media" *snort*, this is the conclusion I have come to. Either that, or just bring in socialized medicine and then everyone can be miserable and mistreated. I don't want my doctor looking at me and seeing a potential malpractice suit with legs, nor do I want him to look at me and see a number. We have to come up with a happy medium because those numbers are reaching crisis numbers; and this issue can't be ignored until it all just "blows over". I have craploads of friends WITH medical insurance who have monumental amounts to pay back, and they are considered middle class. I can't even imagine what it would be like for someone not even making enough to be considered over the poverty level. A living hell, indeed. *My beef with dental insurance being a "luxury" item is that some medical issues could be headed off at the pass if dental problems were taken care of like regular maintenance. Examples being: getting your annual eye exam or pap smear. (Or that thing where the doctor squeezes your balls and makes you cough..is that to check your prostate? I just think of it as fun..*squeeze..SQUEEEEEEEEZE*)

What A Happy Day

Let me tell you, being wrapped in duct tape sux ASS. I spent from 5-8:30 pm being taped up by a friend for a body double (since I am so short I can't get patterns to fit me - hence my wanting to take the fashion design program at that college). She did the outline, ok..good. Then she did the fill in work, ok...good. Then she did my arms. "Ummm, my fingers are starting to tingle"..ok..not so good. Then she moved on to the second layer. "Ummmm, my knee and my back are hurting kinda bad"...ok..not so good. "Errr, I think I have to go to the bathroom..." ok...you get the point. Things didn't get to be "oh..god this is bad" until we realized the scissors to be used to get me OUT of the duct tape fetish outfit were not working. So her sister's boyfriend had to get out his boxcutter and cut up the mid-back - Can you say SPIIIIINE boys and girls? That was a freaky ordeal. Fortunately, he only had to do a bit before the scissors worked, and he was nice enough to put his hand in between my duct tape shell, and the dripping, sweat laden shirt I was wearing underneath. Let me tell you - Duct tape does NOT breathe for shit. Anyway, the worst part is over, now I have to stuff it, shove a pole up it, and maybe, just MAYBE I can manage to make myself bodices that don't leave my ample breasts falling out whenever I bend over. Unfortunately, I might have to have it done again, the shirt rode up and the damned thing was supposed to go down to mid-thigh but it wound up hip-level. At least if I have to have it done again I might be able to wear the original and have an addition of sorts put onto the bottom. That way I won't have to deal with the uncomfortable scenario of my friend feeling me up again. (This is the second time I've had this done....It's kinda creepy having women rubbing on your breasts to smooth down the duct tape.) OK, now that I have made all of my male friends vomit...my work here is done *triumphant grin*...

I am so Goddamned sick of this

I lost my job today. She was rather nice about it and said it had nothing to do with me. They were REALLY happy with the database work and the Palm program I found and installed for them (to update the database with prospect information for the owner). It was only because it was too expensive for the 3 personnel company to afford and things were really slow right now and they really didn't have any enough work to keep me there. They are planning on bringing someone on part-time. Well, Ummmm don't you think you'd fucking ASK what the amount was to buy out the contract? And don't you think since they SAID it was temp-to-hire, the temporary service would inform them about the amounts for a buy-out on a contract? WTF?? I figure it had to do with my absences since I got hurt, but there is nothing I can do about that. I spoke with her and made it very clear that if it was a problem to please let me know...Come to think of it, she said it was really slow, and it was my hours. She basically could have cared less. I know there were a bunch of days I had to leave early because there wasn't anything left for me to do. I kept finding things for myself. (Created a 26 page document I installed for the Palm Pilot database prospecting software yesterday morning.) I know that I am a fairly intelligent, capable individual. Why the hell can't I get/keep a job? I apply for "real" jobs and get "you're overqualified" or my favorite "we are afraid you would not stay with us if a position in your field came along" Come ON...do they NOT realize the situation for the IT sector??? I'm starting to think this isn't just bad luck, that it's seriously something with ME. Who the hell else has to go through all this? Damnit, I wish I had been able to go to those two job interviews last week. I'm not even sure if unemployment will reopen my case since there is the whole issue with the fraud charges for my mistake with the call-in. I am completely bewildered, pissed, ashamed, and lost. Oh well... All I know is that I am tired of this entire debaucle. It's causing me mental anguish, self-esteem issues, deep depression with suicidal ideations (I now have 3 kinds of muscle relaxants and a fair quantity of vodka in the freezer....which I thought about the entire way home tonight - not healthy). I even started having heart palpitations and dizziness today. Though, I am not sure if that is due to the medications, the pain, or the shocking news of the day and deep sense of despair when I realized my financial situation is going to lead to me likely losing my car within 2 months.

Good News and Bad News

Bad news first: Went to the doctor's office for a follow-up today. He came in, asked a few questions, then tried to twist me to the left. Apparently the wincing and pained gasp I let out convinced him that I need more than to buy a new car like the last doctor suggested. I think I forgot to post about that one. Sooooo:

Went to the doctor's office on 8-19 because I had hurt my back at work earlier that week. The doctor released me to work the next day after prescribing me Vicadin and a muscle relaxant of some kind. Well, I attempted to explain to the doctor that I have an hour and a half drive to work which led to two problems 1) I can't take these pills until I get home at 6:30 at night and 2) by the time I get to work, I can barely walk, and by the time I get home I am in the same condition. Because I am short, I have to hyperextend my hurt leg in order to reach the pedals, and in Chicago traffic you can NOT use cruise control...Well..his solution? To buy a Ford Taurus, because apparently they have adjustable pedals. I sort of looked at him funny and basically held my breath on that one. The only comment I made was along the lines of "I just bought a brand new car 4 months ago and can't really afford a new one right now". To which he rebutted that they were only around $20k or under. Great medical advice, eh? I also sort of wondered about this one: I told him I couldn't take the pain medication at work and he told me "Take Tylenol". Ok, if the doctor feels the need to prescribe fairly heavy duty drugs to ease the pain and promote relaxation and healing, wtf is TYLENOL going to do??? Consequently, I took some that night and it did NOTHING..So I called off work the next day. But what did I expect from a doctor who damned near writes out a prescription for "buy a new car"???

So today I went to a new doctor, and after the freakish display when he attempted to twist me to the left for a range of motion check, he seemed VERY concerned and signed me up for MORE meds (no more vicadin, it wasn't helping so they basically have me on two different kinds of muscle relaxants and prednisone. They tried having me go in for physical therapy tomorrow. But, since I had two days off last week, and one day off this week (and it only being my 3rd week of work) I opted to have it next Tuesday (which means I shall also be missing at LEAST one and a half days of work because the physical therapy appointment is at 1:00 and I find it pointless to get to work at 3:30 or 4:00 and leave an hour later. Ok, now for the good news: Went down to the Clerks Office today and filled out the Certificate of Intention. Once I publish my new "business" in the newspaper for 3 weeks I will receive my Certificate of Ownership. Soooo, I am almost officially a business owner. I have to talk to someone though because I am a bit confused about the EIN (tax id) thing. I don't think I need one. Hmmmm....

BTW

Is anyone else receiving javascript errors? I only seem to be getting them from this weirdass browser that self-installed when I used the cd for the dsl modem software. My IE seems fine. I'm just wondering if that might be presenting a problem for people visiting my site, mayhap? Ok, I smell funny. I am going to take a shower...Goddamned humidity sux ass.

Hmmmmm

I was going to get a domain and transfer the blog there from blogspot. But, then I realized I was averaging 4 posts every week with approximately 3 responses per week and thought..why the HELL spend the money??? LOL! If I get my computer up and running...and figure out how to steal my DSL modem back, I might put up some original 3d graphics, and maybe some mp3's from my fledgling group LHBV. But, that will be a long time in the making. Sooo, I suppose I should post more often, and attempt to bring something to the table to bring the pewling masses to my doorstep, eh?

Fucktard of the Week

It is official, I am starting a Fucktard of the week post based upon conversations I have had with men from Yahoo. I just hope I can remember to stay visible so I can continue to bring these little gems to you. This week showcases a gentleman by the nick of big_mike548. Drumroll please:

big_mike548 (10:50:19 AM): like your pic ME (10:50:28 AM): thank you big_mike548 (10:50:44 AM): you married are looking ME (10:50:56 AM): single..sort of looking but not overly so big_mike548 (10:51:36 AM): maybe it mat be a us? ME (10:51:52 AM): what? big_mike548 (10:52:09 AM): maybe we can go out ME (10:52:21 AM): you're in south dakota aren't you? big_mike548 (10:52:29 AM): yes ME (10:52:47 AM): well..I'm near Chicago...logistically it might not work out as far as "going out" per se big_mike548 (10:53:14 AM): wot can we do? ME (10:53:38 AM): no clue big_mike548 (10:54:41 AM): cool ME (10:55:07 AM): so, what do you do? big_mike548 (10:55:26 AM): dive truck ME (10:56:19 AM): *lil smilie didn't show up during the cut and paste* big_mike548 (10:57:21 AM): maybe i can stop bye seme time *convo died at this point...I wonder why*

Boy, that was a complete waste of 7 minutes and 2 seconds!

Oh, Yeah - Slightly Good News

Last Friday I called back one of the companies I had interviewed with. During the interview the lady said that they would get back to me by 8/13 about the job. Well, I hadn't gotten a rejection letter from them as of 8/20, so I decided to call and make sure I was not worthy of the open position. The lady was out of the office, but was nice enough to call me back fairly soon after. She informed me that I was indeed being held in consideration for the position but they were pretty slow and to try to bear with them. I know she's not yanking my chain, because I had tried calling the day before and the receptionist informed me that the person I was trying to reach had been gone for a majority of the past two weeks. I'm going to gain religion and pray I get this job. I likely won't, but it would be a MASSIVE improvement over my current position. Trying not to get my hopes up, but during the interview she was mentioning an issue they were having and I made a suggestion which included installing ColdFusion. She seemed pretty excited about the possibilities, and judging from the things she mentioned I would be doing, there would never be a dull moment. Plus, they have amazing benefits and overtime, even for salaried employees (which I would be). There is only one thing I am somewhat leery about - since I wasn't sure if there were going to be second interviews I didn't inquire about the pay for the position. But the other job I had interviewed with at the company at the end of July was a liveable wage and this one was supposed to be considerably higher. If any of you believe in Godlike beings pray for my immortal soul (no devil worshippers please). I'm wondering if I am being too positive, or if there is some protocol for inquiring when they fuck they are going to come to a decision when it takes a company more than 2 weeks after the date they said they would notify potential candidates, to notify potential candidates? Any ideas?

My Abject Misery

Not quite along the lines of the Jerry Springer show (which I used to watch when I was down because it made me feel SOO much better about myself), but it'll do...right? Well, my life in a nutshell: The federal government may be coming after me for charges of fraud. I filed for my unemployment when we had a crowd of people over and I must have misheard the dates I was applying for - I had worked for one of the weeks. I was a bit surprised when it came to the final message "Thank you for filing for your unemployment, you worthless sack of shit" without them inquiring about the second week which I HAD worked. Well, since we had people over I sort of forgot about it until I got my unemployment check and realized I got paid for both weeks. So, I promptly called the local office and left a message "Hello, my name is *bleep*, my social security number is *bleep*, and I screwed up on my call-in for unemployment last week. I did work the week of the eighth. Please call me back at *bleep* and let me know if I need to send the check back in it's entirety or if I should send you a check for the overpayment." Well, I didn't get a call back, so I cashed the check - had bills to pay. In the mail today, surprise surprise: "We received information that you worked for the week of August 8th, you is goin' to jail beoootch!" This sucks, cause I was about to quit my job this week. Besides the myriad of other problems (them saying I was getting hired in within 30-45 days and changing it to 90 - I don't go salaried until they hire me on directly, no insurance besides medical, paying $340 a month for gas and tolls, and the crappy-assed pay - btw, figured I am making $10.15/hour net after gas, tolls and taxes are subtracted from the gross amount I am currently earning) I am just plain sick of the job. All I do is type up letters and create pathetic little challengeless databases. Tis a BORE....I wouldn't mind it so much if it were local, but driving 3 hours a day round-trip for the priveledge of being bored and spending almost an entire check on gas is not quite cool. Especially, since I basically turned down job interviews for two companies last week paying about $6-8k more per year than this job would. Anyway, I am going to call the unemployment office and find out if putting over 3,000 miles a month on my car and using a quarter of my net pay for transportation is reason enough to leave a job and still collect unemployment. Then I might start a business or two.

WTF?

In the weeeeee hours of the morn, a 22-year old gentleman sent me an IM through yahoo messenger. He is from Wisconsin, and we got engaged in a little chat - It lasted for all of 15 minutes.(Note:I will chat with anyone until you annoy me with your stupidity and/or turn into a pervert). Well...He seemed OK for 1:30am-after-I-was-dead-tired-convo. How wrooooong I was. Here is a bit of our conversation(unedited):

Me (1:27:53 AM): ok..I think I am definately missing something Me (1:28:01 AM): are you stating you want me to drive out there and sleep with you? santeria52596 (1:28:22 AM): no i am satitng santeria52596 (1:28:29 AM): i come out to you, and we not sleep together santeria52596 (1:28:47 AM): we chit chat, and we sleep by each other not with each other\

Errrr, I'm thinking about taking a poll...Maybe I'm a little crazy in not wanting complete strangers to come over to my house and cuddle with me? Am I getting old? Is this the new way of doing things?

Cuddling new craze for New York's singles Monday, August 9, 2004 Posted: 11:47 AM EDT (1547 GMT) Everyone needs to be cuddled, especially in lonely New York, say creators Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski, who say it's a good way to meet new and interesting people.

Gettin' Pissed

Well, called the temp company this morning to find out what I need to do so I can get to the doctor sometime today. The lady gave me a number for their customer service line. Customer service line said it had to be handled by the local office. So I called the local office back and the receptionist said the girl wasn't picking up her phone right now (about 5-10 minutes after I got off the phone with customer service). I have a FUNNY feelin' they don't know what the fuck they're doing AND this is going to turn into some big, huge annoyance fest. I was in the middle of talking (wanted to tell her to call my office and let them know I wasn't going to be in today), and she just kept on with the "Have a good day. Goodbye, Stephanie" thing. I bet she didn't even file anything from when I called in on Monday and said I had gotten hurt. She seemed a bit laissez-faire about the whole thing. She could have cared less about me and anything I might do. Because it didn't occur to her that since it happened at the workplace and didn't turn out to be nothing, I'd be callin' back. Aren't they supposed to file a report automatically when someone informs a mgr etc that they were hurt on the job? Maybe I'm being paranoid, but usually when someone is speaking they still have their ear to the phone. She should have been able to hear "Sandra? Sandra? Hello?" overlapping her. I wonder if I can sue them for placing me at that one company where the manager's second-hand smoke wafted into my office from her open door? Maybe I should call a lawyer today. Well, the suckiest thing about all this is I don't even know if I can go to the event this weekend...I WOULD go, regardless of being hurt (just means I couldn't shop so much), except I have the entire house to myself. But, I MIGHT go, regardless of being hurt because my grandmother left a shitload of dirty dishes before they went out of town (she always does this) and I told her I was hurt AND that I would be gone this weekend. Gawd, I am a vengeful being.

The Olympics!!!

Well, please read this article if you get a chance. Sucks to be: Hungry in Hungary.

Oh, Almost Forgot

BTW, here is a little game for the kiddies. Thought you might enjoy. Mary-Kate Olsen's Crackman

Workman's Comp, Here I Come

I got hurt at work on Monday. The Office Manager wanted me to move some files around in the filing cabinet. One of which was higher than my head so I had to reach in at an awkward angle and pull the files out (some of which were 2-3 inches thick) and I hurt my back/side from shoulder blade to upper-lower back on the right side. So...I stopped doing that and decided to work on the stuff on the lower drawer. Well, I couldn't be hunched over for prolonged periods of time so I got down on my knees. Upon standing up, I popped the right kneecap out of joint and have been having intermittant pain ever since. Sooooo, I am going to call off work tomorrow and to go Immediate Care. Sucks really, because I had planned on taking a half day on Thursday to go to a job interview, but with all the taking time off and needing to see a doctor that is likely not going to happen. I would probably still go except I can't get comfortable and having to turn my entire upper body to check lights aggravates my back (1-1.25 hour commute one way) and the fact I'm 4'7" and have to stretch to reach the pedals in my car is aggravating my knee...I'm not going anywhere long-distance. I can barely haul my fat-ass up/down the stairs without this niggling weird pain in my knee along with an odd grinding feeling, snap crackle and pop in my back, and the way my knee does this weird hyper-bendy semi-locking crap. About the only way I am comfortable is if I am laying down, but the weird thing is it's not 24/7...it's just sorta whenever they wanna be bitchy...I had about 2 hours today when everything was just fine. The rest of the time I acted like my limp was really me pimpin' or something....Ok, this is the ONLY time I claim being black. Maybe I'll be lucky and be considered disabled and I can just collect workman's comp, disability, and go to school...I'd make out better financially doing that than working an honest living. But..GAWD being short sucks...Simple things you take for granted wind up becoming huge annoying obstacles like..FILING..which I hate anyway. Who the hell gets hurt filing..Well..ME that's who...this is the second or third time, only one requiring medical attention. Did I ever mention I hate my job? This is just sort of like the straw that broke the camel's back though. I wanted to quit BEFORE I hurt myself...I just wanna burn the building down now *sigh*. This bitchfest brought to you by Gimps Gone Wild. Maybe I will be on that page soon for extra income. Hmmmm, I REALLY need to stop linking to that site. Goddamnit, my back hurts so bad I can't sleep.

Ahhh, Sweet Memories

Couldn't find the song I wanted to link to - I'll check up on that later. But, in the meantime I remembered a song that I liked which came out almost 10 years ago.I heard this song in the mid-90's on my way home from work in New Jersey. I almost got into a car accident because I was laughing so hard. The lyrics alone don't do it justice, so here's a snippet. Enjoy!

Detachable Penis - King Missile I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over] This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for a while, then out]

Are Black Men Illiterate?

I am sure no one cares, but this has been a pet peeve of mine for awhile and it's starting to rear it's ugly head again, now that mating season (spring/summer) is almost over. A little background: I signed up for some free dating service thing ages ago. I don't really ever go there unless I get an email at my yahoo account stating that I have mail or that someone found me interesting. I figure, what the hell, maybe he's cute and I can get a free dinner. Well, during the warmer months I hardly get any of those cheesy-assed emails, but for some reason I have been getting a plethora of them lately. And a vast majority of them are from black guys. I have a fucking statement at the very beginning of my profile which reads:

Disclaimer: I'm not a paying member, so I cannot initiate emailing - but I do respond. I'm also not into black men. Sorry guys.

Ok, I got a little pissed off at a friend who called me a "stupid nigger" at a get-together last weekend when we were all hanging out and I was doing this inside joke thing with another friend. I got seriously pissed off, because I do not consider myself to BE a stupid nigger...But, if I ran across a profile that stated "I am not into short, fat,psycho black chicks with napolean complexes" I would likely skim over to the next person of interest - no harm, no foul. I would NOT state that I was interested in them because, seriously, what the hell is the point? Yet, for the past 2 weeks, I have been averaging approximately 3-5 emails a week from black guys alone. These men are definately what I would call stupid niggers. I know some men think that women they consider unobtainable as a "challenge" of sorts. As in they want to win some game - turn the lesbian over to the dark side kind of crap. But, I am unsure how to make it any clearer that I am not remotely interested in black men. Apparently, specifically stating you are not into something constitutes a desire for every possible one of them to come knocking at your door. So, are they illiterate or what?? I can't imagine they just look at the pic in my profile and think "wow, I wanna bang her" without bothering to read the profile at all. It's not very long. But, considering my profile on yahoo and the amount of assholes that pm me trolling for sex despite my declaration that I am not fodder for their masturbatory pleasure, and if they are looking for one-night-stands they should look elsewhere, I shouldn't be surprised. I get a plethora of skeezy assholes asking if I have a cam, or if I'm horny. No wonder I think most guys are scumbag fucktards. Unfortunately, the decent ones that I am interested in are never interested in me...I even tried lowering my standards, but I have utterly no interest in him and will likely completely forget about him in the time it will take for him to be done with his work project. Do they have mail-order-grooms from Russia or maybe some eastern european countries? If so, I might have to wait until double coupon day; or maybe I should lose weight and get some plastic surgery? With my lack of adequately educated and remotely attractive male attention, I am definately starting to believe I am a hideously deformed grotesque being that exuding pheramones which only affect basement dwelling, clinically depressed, desperate losers.

Oh...God...NO!!!!!

Someone found my site by doing a google search for gimps gone wild. It's not FAIR damnit. It's not right...and I TOTALLY should have expected it. This is a lesson for you all: Be careful what you reference bahaha!

Sick But True?

This is PURELY for Boudicca. Don't ever say that I don't pander to my audience. Obese Woman Dies Stuck To Couch

Quitting Soon

Don't get me wrong, the people are nice and the job is quasi-interesting. But, I found out today that even if I were to get hired on there would be no benefits. Well, there's medical - that's about it. I thought the only thing I wouldn't be getting is dental, but that's not the case. I will hold onto this position until I find something else. The not great pay, commute, and few benefits is not making this a position that will likely last more than a few months - well I tend to wind up having an "attitude problem" when people try to treat me like crap too...so I might even have my "assignment ended". Another issue I have is that everything is rather disorganized. So it will be either a pain in the ass dealing with the disorganization, or a pain in the ass trying to get things organized. And I will likely not deal with the latter since I do not plan on staying on this job any longer than need be. I know at this point my friends are shaking their heads thinking "will this girl EVER stay at a job for more than 3 months???" Well, I may be picky about boyfriends, but I am pickier about jobs. I want to work, but I'm not an 18 year old anymore. I need medical, dental, a 401K and all that good stuff. And if they aren't going to give me that, at least give me enough money I can get the damned things on my own. In this current economy people can't be TOO picky...so I'm sticking with it til I either piss someone off, or find a better alternative. I really just need to find a sugar daddy. OK, it's almost 11:45 and I just got home. Have to hit the sack so I can be somewhat cognizant for the drive and the work-day tomorrow.

First Day at Work

First day wasn't so bad. I got to create a database that will be sure to impress the boss who has been wanting it for months - all I have to do now is figure out the formatting for the reports and I'm finished..I think it took a total of an hour to get the data typed up, forms set up, and queries done. I've got all of the current data and weekly queries up until the end of this month. Apparently, the fact I was able to get 6+ of the financial plan letters typed up via the dictation machine seemed to impress one of the girls. And, the people seem nice enough overall. Boss brought in one of those brownie blizzards from Dairy Queen for me today. I think that was really friggin nice of her, especially considering we had never met. (I interviewed with the office manager.) Too bad the most fun girl is leaving..Well..not sure if "girl" is the proper term, but she's got a helluva sense of humour. The hours are kinda sweet too. 9-5 with an hour lunch and frequent bathroom breaks. It completely flew by. Tomorrow I get to work on the client database and find out why it will not allow them to enter any more data, so that might take a bit, depending. I'm also going to try to look at some of their other software programs and see if I can write something in visual basic. Then I might check into finding out if a coldfusion server would be beneficial for a company that size. Not sure it would be very cost effective for a company with 3 employees and apparently sluggish growth. Oh, something Contagion and Nessa would love. There is a Japanese restaurant inside of the building I'm in (connected to a high-priced hotel)...soooo..SUSHI at least 3 times a week...MmmmMMmm...teka maki, maybe even SPIDER ROLLS!! Ok, I have to finish laundry and find dinner.

Surprised

I am surprised no one has bitched about how utterly distasteful my song was. Hmmm, maybe it was so offensive that I have run off my 3 readers, and am now virtually screaming into the empty ether...anyway. I figure it's kind of bad when your new job seems like more of an annoyance than anything else. It means I HAD to do laundry today, I HAD to clean the boxes and crap out of my room that had been in there for a week (after my getting kicked out of the living room). Gawd, I wish I hadn't procrastinated because I'm going to be on a huge time crunch for the next couple of weeks. Have to get everything accomplished before the semester starts, because I will basically be coming home and going to bed. With commute time, I will have 3 hours per night to get everything done that I need to get done and get adequate rest until the end of the month. I have recently found out that if I did NOT go to school, I could not afford any apartments advertised online* in the area I wanted to go to school in. So, I might wind up moving only about an HOUR away, as opposed to being over an hour and a HALF away. Well, I COULD afford the apartment...I'd just be eating ramen noodles and hot dogs. But, I'd still have my sweet, sweet ride. Anyway, I have to go. Forgot to drop something off this weekend, so I have to get up at 5:30 to be able to do that and get to work by 9am....(The place I need to drop the stuff off at is only about 15 minutes away from my house.) Maybe I should go do it right now, it's not like I'm going to get any sleep anyway. Took a sinus pill at 5:30 am cause the draining was keeping me awake. I had basically become a complete zombie and could not fall asleep without the assistance of drugs. So, now any chance I have of getting to bed at a decent hour is completely nonexistent.

New Job

Well, I am not doing happy dances about the new job I start on Monday for various reasons. The first being the fact it is a temp-to-perm job, and I do not seem to have the best of luck with such positions. I will only get happy if I LIKE the job and they actually hire me on full-time. Another issue is that they do not offer dental benefits. The third is that the pay is about $10k less a year than about 3 other jobs I interviewed for. I took it because things have been on a "first come, first served" basis, and they were the first ones with a definate answer after my interview. The GOOD things about the position is that it is in the exact area I want to be. Approximately, 20 minutes (30 with bad traffic) from the college I had been wanting to attend. So the monetary issue is somewhat offset by the fact I will basically be getting an extra $700/month over my salary for just going to school. Another positive is that it is with a financial planning company and they are definately into training and consider the position to be a stepping stone. I always enjoyed finance classes (especially when able to use software for some of the amortization/depreciation stuff which perpetually confused me). The entire idea of stock portfolios, financial planning, 401k's etc has been an interest of mine for a bit which I hope MANY other people in my age bracket also entertain. Being able to manage your money to save up for your future is not a luxury (unless you're unemployed or underemployed) it is a NECESSITY. Being able to understand the processes, procedures, and inner-workings would definately be an asset for me even if I chose not to make this my ultimate career path. So, it's basically a short-term position 2-5 years in which I can gain knowledge. If I decide that it interests me enough to get licensing and take further coursework I have plenty of time to do it while accruing experience. In the meantime, I will have 2 years of the fashion design program under my belt and can likely specialize in making clothes for the handicapped - a worthwhile endeavor, no? (Maybe I can even create sexy outfits for the women of Gimps Gone Wild or something. Then I can provide a valuable service and be a productive member of society. Maybe I could even consider it a not-for-profit organization. Don't not-for-profits get great tax breaks?

Lyrics

Ok, people wanted to see the lyrics for "Dirty Little White Girl". If you are easily offended I HIGHLY suggest you not read this. Please keep in mind that I do NOT condone actions of this sort! Also, the song is still a work in progress and it will obviously not be quite the same reading words on a screen as hearing the horrid lil thing in stereo. But, once I get my computer worked out (and maybe have LJ work on some guitar for it) I might see about getting an audio clip on here. Commence reading at your own risk. Don't say I didn't warn you:

Dirty Little White Girl Her father would come home at night He'd kiss her and he'd hug her tight. Friday's were the best you see She loved to play the perfect family. (music break) Dirty little white girl Never was a rich girl. Back it up, back it up Daddy needs a new girl. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday Every day the same day Except for Friday. Dirty little white girl Never was a rich girl. Back it up, back it up Daddy needs a new girl. Dirty little white girl Never was a rich girl Back it up, back it up Daddy needs a new girlfriend. (music break) Her mother left when she was 3 It screwed her up psychologically Daddy don't...Stop touching me. Daddy don't...Stop touching me. Daddy don't...Stop touching me. DADDY DON'T STOP...touching me. Dirty little white girl Never was a rich girl Back it up, back it up Daddy's got a hard-on. Dirty little white girl Never was a rich girl Back it up, back it up Daddy's got a new girlfriend. So I guess...it all worked out in the end.

Ewwwwww

Ok, a little backstory. Last night, my friend and I were out and I thought some guy was cute, he got a bit closer and she said he was a geek. Well..I like geeks. Pale skinned, dark haired guys, with above average I.Q's and blue, grey, or green eyes and I melt - oh, and above average genitalia is a must too...But, what can I say? Size does matter! Anyway, she started teasing me, so I teased her back a bit and it was as if a lightbulb went off over her head when she suddenly proclaimed, "You always attract freaks!" Yeah, like the time the guy with the goiter started humping my back when he wanted to "dance". Another time there was a guy who was about 70 something years old who kept trying to give me a massage, literally dragged me onto the dance floor where he promptly fell over (I just walked away and left him there). Then the next time we went back to that particular place he kept telling me we had had sex...

1. 1) I'm usually the designated driver with that friend because she has no car and I've never really gotten drunken enough on water to screw some stranger
2. 2) I don't tend to have one-night-stands with 70-year old men and
3. 3) EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

Anyway...after the trip down memory lane I got up this morning and noticed some weird men had sent me IM's in Yahoo Messenger. So I decided to check profiles - it's always interesting in that trainwreck sorta way, kind of like watching Jerry Springer. Well...Please let me introduce you to Carpet Man and no, it's not some carpet-muncher-oral-sex kind of thing. Seriously, I think I will put down the Yahoo freak of the week on here. I've gone back to staying in perpetual invisible mode unless I see someone I know online. And..well...Carpet Man, and men like him, are the reason for my reclusion.

I Am A Sick Little Puppy

Well, I mentioned the entire writing a song with LJ thing, so I won't get into that again. Well, we were joking around and he made mention of calling ourselves Dirty White Girl (an inside joke about me). I thought no, we should call it LHBV. (I am not even going to go into what that stands for right now. I think it would be too funny to have people wondering wtf it means if we DID go do open mic nights or something.) Anywho, I was driving back from my job interview (btw I got the job and start Monday) and began wondering...What kind of song could one write about a dirty white girl. Well, I came up with something deliciously wrong, sick, evil and catchy. Sang it for .LJ and another friend and they both agreed it was a horrid little ditty, but they liked it. I am going to hell for this one for SURE

Fun Night

Spent a bit of time at LittleJoe's tonight. We wrote a song that seemed pretty damned good. Hopfully, we'll be able to force our friends to listen to it soon and can do an open mike night at a locale somewhere in town. If it's as good as he thinks it is it might prove to be interesting - I love to sing. About the only experience I have singing in front of people is at karaoke bars. They seem to love me but I'm not altogether sure if that is because I am a good singer or because I sing the Divinyls "I Touch Myself" and pretend to give the VJ a blowjob behind his little podium. (I usually get harrassed into doing it when I go to that particular hick bar.) Oh, can't forget the fake boob rubbing bit for pure audience entertainment...they seem to like that too. Ok, well I have to go to "work" tomorrow, so I had better do that sleep thing. *yawn*

Changes

Someone was bitching about how the blog didn't show how many comments were listed under each post on the main page. So, I finally got around to fixing that, and a couple of other minor errors too. If my devoted two readers notice anything glaringly obvious or annoying just mention it and I will try my hardest to change it; or I will ignore your petty requests for appeasement - Why? Because I hate you.

Vindicated

For the past year or more I have been complaining to friends that it seems companies are requiring skills in a programming language longer than that language has been around. I was on the networking boards on Monster.com and came across this article. In case you don't feel like checking out the entire thing, here is the pertinent part:

Fantasy Combinations A classic example is a position requiring more years of experience with a technology than it has been in existence. According to Hajer, such postings are sometimes "written by recruiters who don't understand what they're putting in an ad. [Job seekers] make fun of companies that will list something like four years of .NET. The laundry listing is something they find really frustrating."

A few links

I was at Contagion's house tonight and we talked a bit about the post I had regarding outsourcing jobs to India. He had wanted proof of the fact that once people stop looking for work or are not counted at the unemployment office (after benefits run out, etc) that they are not considered in the final unemployment tally. There was a book written by David Dembo and Ward Morehouse entitled The Underbelly of the U.S. Economy: Joblessness and the Pauperization of Work in America. It is apparently a much cited source and required reading for some colleges. I haven't seen any negative commentary regarding this book, stating it as a bunch of lies and propaganda. So, check it out if you care. About the only link I found that I remotely trusted (most of them were from Democratic sites doing more than their fair share of Bush Bashing) was from CNN

Link to article about outsourcing

I found the link to that news show I watched. It was indeed 60 Minutes

Do I need to learn the Indian National Anthem?

As previously mentioned, I had written a post about a segment on a news show regarding the outsourcing of American jobs to India. I was filled with a most righteous anger, which has been toned down a tad since last night, but I still find this phenomenon to be quite infuriating. The show was on from 7-8pm CST on NBC. I'm not sure if it was 60 Minutes or what. But they noted that approximately 400,000 jobs have been outsourced to India in recent years. I can understand why it is a feasible financial solution for an American company to outsource their positions because of the 30-50% savings that occur from only paying out an average of $2-3,000 per year to Indian employees. Following are a few companies which utilize this business plan:

• JP Morgan
• Amazon.com
• AOL (yet another reason to hate them)
• Dell
• Massachusetts General Hospital - MRI's are sent to India.

These companies and others like them claim that by outsourcing jobs to areas of cheaper labor "savings are passed onto customers; so they get better savings". OK, my concern with this is...who will be able to afford your product and/or services when the unemployment levels are so high in this country? Americans need American jobs from American companies. I don't want to call up because my Dell computer isn't working and hear a customer rep named "Tommy" in Somalia screaming cause his leg is being gnawed off by a tiger in his hut. * Ok, I have to interject something about unemployment levels people do not seem to understand or consider. Just because the unemployment levels drop doesn't mean there is some major hiring going on and that people have re-entered the workforce. A person can only be on unemployment for so long before they are dropped, these people are discounted. Remember how long ago the layoffs and downsizings began? Well, it's been well over a year, who KNOWS how many people are STILL unemployed, just not being accounted for by the government because their unemployment benefits ran out and they are basically forgotten. Hopefully, this makes you realize that there could potentially be a much larger pool of the unemployed out there than is currently considered, and that these 400,000 jobs might be better off in the US. Because, if these people are earning their money and injecting it into the economy, it stimulates growth and eases us out of a recession. Why do you think the government has been lowering interest rates to rock-bottom levels? If you have no idea how that works, the government lowers tax rates so the lower to middle-class tax brackets will spend more of their newly acquired disposable income. (The higher you go up in the food chain the less money is spent on "frivolities" and the more goes into savings.) One of the Indian gentleman stated that "Geography is history. Boundaries don't matter." I call bullshit. I don't much think that if I decided to purchase a ticket to some western european country they'd be altogether happy my unemployed non-native-language speaking ass popped in to freeload off of them? There are such things as boundaries and regulations to keep an influx of the downtrodden masses from over-running a country. As we all know, the platform of the presidential candidates has been focused on getting more jobs available to Americans. Want me to tell you a little secret? Government agencies themselves are outsourcing welfare and benefits calls to other countries. This insiduous plot isn't just lack of jobs it has to do with deceitful practices. If you call up your credit card company and get a woman named "Janet" with a sort of weird accent, she might be Indian. But, her pseudo name does not reflect her ethnicity, it is actually, most pointedly to DEFLECT from her ethnicity and make her more American. They even take classes to learn vernacular and slang. One part of the news segment showed a man standing at a board asking what "quit yanking my chain" means. Well, I want to wrap this up and have one more point to make. This is the thing that disturbed me the most. A company in Bombay by the name of Sureprep sends tax returns to their office in Bombay. Last year about 1000 tax returns were sent. They think approximately 25,00 were sent in 2004. In 2005 it is estimated that around 200,000 tax returns will be sent overseas. I find this to be disturbing because of 2 things:

1. I don't want my personal tax information being viewed by some stranger in a faraway land. I find that to be rather disconcerting. ESPECIALLY, when I'm pretty damned sure they don't say, "Hey, you DO realize that we're sending this information to be processed by workers in Bombay, right?"
2. When asked if they had any concerns about safety, the gentleman said no, because it was a paperfree environment.

Ok, call me paranoid but I'm remembering the fact that these workers are making about $2-3,000 a year. If they run across Mr. Jone's name, address, and social security number, who is to say that they won't MEMORIZE the information when they note that Mr. Jones seems to make $80,000 a year? In this day and age of identity theft, I, for one, don't feel particularly comfortable having my personal information being shipped halfway across the world. This might not be a huge deal or concern to anyone else. But, I am in the IT field, and a majority of these jobs being sent to China, Russia, and India are IT positions because, hell...they'll do the work for the fraction of what it would cost an American. And if you are paying a damned bit of attention to the availability of IT jobs in the US you will note it's pretty darned abysmal. I went to college in this country, I figured I would work in this country. But, unless you want to sell your soul to the devil, or have an in, you are not getting into a company in the present climate. So, I have a couple of choices....Figure out a different field, in which the $50k I spent for my education was pretty much a complete waste of time; or move to a third world country and make a couple thousand a year? *India is considering the point where they will have to outsource to other countries like China...Perhaps, eventually things will swing back around after America becomes a third world country after spending billions helping everyone but ourselves and sending all of the jobs overseas.

When it rains it pours

Got a call this morning about a temp job. Pretty damned nice pay rate for this area, unfortunately, it's only 3 days a week. I did specifically inform the recruiter that I am searching for a full-time position and that I might not be available for the entire time period required by the company. She looked a bit hesitant at first, but then seemed to be cool with it. I think I posted last week about getting a call on Friday from a lady at the company I interviewed with earlier in the week who gave a referral to another co-worker with a higher level position open in her department. Well, I am going to that interview today at 2:00. I was just about to go get ready for the interview when the phone rang. It was regarding a position in the Chicago burbs. She would like for me to come in this week. But, seeing as to how I have no idea what my schedule is going to be like this week I had to inform her of my little predicament. I don't want to renege on my agreement for the part-time temp job before starting. Why give up on a sure thing. The money is decent and I only have to work 3 days a week which leaves me plenty of time to look for another position. We'll see...to be honest, I am currently somewhat torn between getting a quasi-decent job in my town where the rent is cheaper, and going into the Chicago burbs for a much better paying job and the ability to enter into a rather cool program only offered at one of the colleges nearby. Anyway, I suppose I should go get ready. My hair resembles one of those troll dolls, I think I'm about to shart, and I need to find trouser socks.

*sigh*

I had a long compelling post about the issues of outsourcing american jobs that I saw on some news show, but, as you can tell, my frustrations are quite high at present because my IE decided to konk out RIGHT before I was about to hit the publish button. It will likely lack some of the spirit of my earlier post, but...I'll get right on that...tomorrow or something...

MOTHERFUUUUUCKER

I just lost my goddamned post...Stupid goddamned motherfucking piece of shit fuckety fuck fuck....fuck. I'm getting a headache...I hate you all.

Too Funny

I was checking my stats on Site Meter and came across one of the Referral URLs. Sorry, but this is not really how I thought I would be run across. If this keeps up. I might start a URL Referral of the Week post. Keyword search on yahoo was for: fruits and vegetables cleanse the blood? I came up number 1 with the blurb:

Cleanse the World; Rivers of Blood ... Cleanse the World; Rivers of Blood. The psychotic ramblings of a clinically depressed midget with ... contracting foodborne illness from fresh fruits and vegetables and other foods: ...

Wowsa

Ok, I dunno if it's me or blogger, but I just got my previous comments back...This is getting spooky, cause I know for damned sure they weren't there a minute ago. I checked the goddamned archives. I need alcohol. Mazeltov.

How Weird

I clicked on a couple of things and apparently got the comments working again. Though I seem to have lost the comments made on previous posts. If you are at all confused you have to click on the time and it will open another window with the original post where it states Post a Comment.

Well, hello there!

Welcome to the updated blog. New, Improved and Noncommentable! I have to figure out how the hell to get this fixed. BTW, don't see M. Night Shamalamadingdong's The Village . It was predictable, and quite boring.

Cooking

I was reading a post on a friends blog about cooking and my comment to it made me think of a weird little quirk I have. When I'm not feeling particularly happy with life. Whether I'm anxious about something, or scared about something, or just not feeling up to par, I cook. I've been cooking like a banshee when I've been home the past couple of weeks. I've made banana crumb muffins, blueberry pound cake, oatmeal cookies, scones, crumpets, apple dumplings, shrimp bisque,chocolate chunk cookies, ice cream, been barbequing salmon, steaks, and chicken wings, and a myriad of other items. The weird thing about it is that it's not JUST the cooking that does "it" for me, it's feeding it to someone else and having them appreciate my efforts and feel the love and depth of feeling that I put into a dish or baked good. Lately, since I'm single, I cook, and most of it goes to waste. I try to pawn it off on friends, but that usually backfires because my grandmother grew up in the depression era and has this "thing" about giving food away to strangers....yet..they won't eat most of it because I cook "white people food" go figure. Anywho, I grew up in an italian family (yes, I'm black, stop being confused Bou), and it's damned near impossible to cook in small quantities. You are always prepared to feed a large army or small country, depending on how much freezer/refrigerator space you have. But, in writing my comment on LJ's board, I came to realize "Food IS Love". There is NOTHING compared to rolling out pasta dough by hand, running it through the Atlas pasta machine, cutting out your shapes, filling and rolling up your tortellini into those funny belly-button shapes, EXCEPT for the near orgasmic moans coming from a friend who has never had fresh, home-made HAND-made pasta before. There's nothing like adding that chiffonade of basil to your tomato sauce as a final addition EXCEPT having someone eating your dish of choice asking which brand of spaghetti sauce you used, because it's to die for, only to tell them it's your brand, and not to be bottled or branded because it never turns out the same way twice. Hell, I still get comments about the jambalaya I made for a get-together 2-3 years ago where they offer to give me money to make it again, provided I remember to remove the shells from the shrimp next time. Hahahah, ok, so there have been a few mistakes, but it was still damned tasty. And I doubt that it would have been so tasty if I hadn't taken two days to make it. I created the andouille sausage from scratch, found the largest, freshest shrimp I could find, used hand chopped garlic, and did a myriad of other things to make that dish MINE...When you cook for those you love, you can do nothing less than impart a bit of yourself into a dish and it's that attention to detail involved in creating the final product that makes it so damned good for the cook and their happy, full-bellied diner.

Where are those happy pills when you need them?

Well, it seems my depression is getting worse. I've reached the point where I'm crying (and I am NOT a crier except when pets or close relatives die), completely lost my appetite (though I got foully hungry yesterday right after the dentist told me I couldn't eat for 2 hours - psychosomatic I'm sure), either sleeping for 16+ or 3 hours a day, completely no motivation do do basic things like bathe (I'm down to 1 shower a day *sigh*), and the only people I would like to see are the kids of one set of my friends. Sooooo, suffice it to say my world is not full of puppy dogs, fluffy clouds and rainbows. And until I get a better perspective on things and will most decidedly not cause a few of my scant amount of readers to consider blowing a hole through their OWN heads, I'm going to take a little break. I shall be forced to hang out with friends next Saturday (If I'm still here - not meaning anything ominous by it, just might go visit my friend in Wisconsin next weekend)so human interaction will be kept at a minimum. Well, if Grau remembers to call me about the movie today I might go do that, but he won't..or else he'll cancel - 'tis his modus operandi. So all bets are on my self-inflicted solitude. Maybe I can get enough motivation to clean up the boxes I had to move today. (Seems every vestige of my existence had to be removed from the living room. I am a non-person. HA!) There might be an odd post or two this week. Or else I have just jinxed myself into a plethora of posting. Kind of like I did after that last rant I had about no one reads my site, so I'm done..and then I got some responses and I felt bad so I posted a bunch of shit within the next few days. But, I promise that it won't be "poor me...*wah, wah...my life sucks" type crap. I wish I had money for booze. Damn, I might have to go to a friend's house to get all liquored up tonight...There goes self-inflicted solitude.

Ahhhh, Good Times

Well, remember that job interview I was supposed to hear about yesterday before end of business? Well, today, around 3:30-4:30 I found out that I did not get the job...SURPRISE!!! Since I don't really have a customer service background - and the second round of interviews didn't go as swimmingly as the first - I pretty much knew the outcome of that venture. But, the interview I went for at the beginning of this week...the girl liked me so much she recommended me to another lady with a position that required a "higher skillset than the previous position [I] applied for". So, she wants me to come in Monday for another interview. She seemed really apologetic for asking me to come back to the same place so soon. It probably won't pan out, but I can try to look at the positive side and consider that I am at least getting good interview practice. I seem to be getting better at bs'ing and not sounding like a complete ignoramous when confronted with real-live one-on-one convos with strangers.

Gimps 'r Us

I'm thinking of doing an online store sort of like this one: The Gimp Store. Except I have a few other ideas for posters, art, jewelry. The owner says she will link to me on her site. I figure there might be a niche market for my particular brand of humor. Though, nothing I ever really attempt is very successful. Oh, this site Gimps Gone Wild, I find to be kinda disturbing in a way, though...can't quite put my finger on WHY. I mean gimp-lovers need porn too.

Freaking OUT!!

I have been freaking out all day waiting to hear back about the two jobs I interviewed for.  I am supposed to hear back about the one in Itasca by EOB today. Not particularly thinking I got that one, but they "like me" (their words not mine). The job in town that I interviewed for on Monday was supposed to let me know by the end of the week, but I called today to see if they would have a decision by Friday, and to ask if I was still in contention (yeah, I know faux pas). She stated that they wouldn't have a final decision until the end of next week.  Good lord...I am the queen of instant gratification and have been completely nerve-wracked with all of this waiting. Every time the phone rings I feel like one of Pavlov's salivating dogs - running to the nearest phone at top speed. I do not run, so this is major. Today I spent a crapload of time on the phone trying to maintain my singular network contact for IT. I suck at networking and wish they offered free classes at the library. I am not a people person and feel stupid calling people up and trying to bs with them "Ohh, so how are you doing? How are the kids? Will you hire me or tell me about someone who IS hiring???? PLEASE...OH GOD..PLEASE???" He's a really nice guy, but he seems to be up shit creek lately too. Everyone in this town as far as IT is concerned is up shit creek. Well, I made an appointment with the local CMS office to talk to a career councilor about possible state titles I could apply for.  The governor FINALLY approved the budget so they should be able to negotiate how the money is to be spent within departments and begin their hiring processes soon for sorely needed staff.  I'm hoping to get in on the ground floor, wait things out for 6 months and then apply for something I'm actually qualified for.  Weird thing is, the lowest position they said I qualified for was an Office Assistant type position that pays around $25k a year. The ones I ACTUALLY qualified for were more like $45-50k a year. I am REALLY REALLY hoping that I manage to do well with whatever testing I have to take, and that my resume gets me decent points so that I can at least be held for consideration once they begin bringing people on in earnest. I really need a fucking job. I am getting soooo bummed out about this whole unemployment thing. It makes me feel as if everything I have worked towards these past few years was a pointless endeavor and a COMPLETE and utter waste of time. Everyone spouts the "something will come up soon" thing, but I'm starting to wonder. Something better come up soon, cause I've been having dreams of deep-throating the rifle in the basement.

What does the future hold

Ok, I have officially informed the youngin' that I'm going to try him out. Again, not so sure it's going to work out, but...*whines* he's niiiiice...settling isn't THAT bad is it? My brother stopped over here to mow the lawn, and I invited myself over for grilled cheese sandwiches. We sat and talked for hours. After we were done complaining about the psycho bitch which spawned us, he told me about a really kickass program he is enrolled in at the community college here. This immediately made me think "Why the FUCK don't I just enroll, it's FREE!!!" It's called a program cluster for a mass communications program. In case you don't want to go there and check out the class info, here is the summary paragraph from the site:

The Mass Communication Program at Rock Valley College is designed to give students a comprehensive education in Audio, Video, and Motion Picture production. Our production courses are taught in a state of the market multi-media facility using state of the market digital cameras, non-linear editors and digital recording equipment. Students begin hands on training on the first day of class, and are given 24-hour a day, 7 day a week access to the Center for Media Production.

After that, I can either go for my MBA, or go to a culinary arts program somewhere. They also offer this same program at a GREAT college in the Chicago suburbs near where I used to work at; I think I would even be able to pay the lower tuition based on our local community college rate ($51/credit hour). I can't do what I want to do...which is sing...so I might as well go for something else fairly interesting. My dad used to do commercials in our city before he moved to Chicago, and my brother wants to be a director. It makes me feel a tad weird about it since he's 9 years younger than me, but...it really sounds great from what he has been describing. For chrissakes, I'm almost 30 and have done nothing with my life. Yes, I've had a bit more excitement than the average bear, but I yearn for so much more than just looking for a damned office job. I want to do something that requires some creative thought. This would all be so much easier if I didn't have that brand new fucking car - if I only knew then what I know now. My car payments were about $200 less a month and the insurance was lower too. This is a huge chunk of cash when your total amount in unemployment checks per month does not even add up to you weekly checks while employed...*contemplates - Well, there was that issue of the motor "probably" exploding whenever I turned the thing on, so I shouldn't bitch too much.*

Not going to Job Interview

Well, I had printed out directions for the interview yesterday, but didn't look at them well apparently. I know I am not the most perceptive person on the face of the planet lol; but this morning I came to realize that the street I'm supposed to be on doesn't exist. And since I have no desire to drive 2 hours away and search for my final location, I just called and cancelled. Whatever..I'm not in a good mood anyway. But, now I have nothing to do today...Hmmmm.... Oh, btw, yesterday's second interview sucked. But, there's always Monday...or Delaware..or back to school, or... I REALLY need to find myself a Sugar Daddy!

I'm Still Alive

Ok, I just got home. That was a fucking weirdass date, and I have an interview in a few hours so I have to go to bed. Just wanted to get this out so no one went calling the police. I do NOT think I will be seeing this guy again. Genuinely sweet guy and very gentlemanly - opened doors, pulled out my chair, etc , but..well he's 22, and a bit too immature for me to deal with...and he grossed out too easily when I farted (didn't gross him out enough though).  I am so not into the juvenile hand holding, "can I kiss you, yer so purty" thing. And he kept STARING at me...I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I don't care what anyone says, it always makes me think the guy is a homicidal maniac (especially since I don't make much eye contact). Then the basically begging for affection and having weird passive aggressive temper tantrums when I wouldn't kiss or hold his hand...well..I did smack him a couple of times. I'm not a cuddler, a "hold me", "kiss me and tell me that you love me" kinda girl. I just wanna watch porn, eat pizza and jump you in the middle of the night cause I'm spontaneously horny, have an intelligent conversation about some esoteric topic where no one can prove they are right or wrong, roll over and fall asleep kinda girl. Ok, well I do the "hold me" crap when my cramps get bad...but, that's about it, except for one guy I was with. He was the only one I could actually fall asleep if he was cuddling with me. Anyone else I waited til they fell asleep, rolled over, and created a blanket/sheet barrier from skin-to-skin contact. I just feel REALLY bad, cause he didn't have that much money and spent most of it on me today, and I left making a bunch of excuses when he asked if we would get to see each other again soon. Told him I had nerd day, and maybe a family obligation or two, and since I didn't know when/where I'd be working I couldn't make any promises; at which point he said he could take the bus out to my city (has no car, typical in Chicago) and I know I had that deer trapped in headlights look. I don't even remember what the fuck I said, I just tried to run away. I was so addled he even got a kiss after I got into my car and tried to slam the door on him. Gawd....will I EVER find a guy with the qualities I'm looking for? Or will they all be sorta...well, freaks, psychos, or completely adoring guys who are just not my type? Can't there be a completely adoring guy who IS my type out there??? I mean intelligence, sense of humour, honesty, ambition, and physical attraction....jesus are they that hard to come by? Ok, maybe I know what my friends mean by my being picky: I can't deal with people I can't hold conversations with, nor can I deal with ugly people touching me..cept for friends during my graduation party. *snickers and ducks*

Sidebar

Can someone tell me why the fuck my sidebar is way down there? I think it was fine a few days ago??

Why My Friends Suck - Bitchfest

Ok, in my last post I mentioned something about my friends sucking.  I figure I should clarify before I get blackballed from the group from the one entire day I get to hang out with them per month. First of all, they're great for emotional support and all that crap. Especially considering the fact they are all guys.  But it'd be nice if they did things like:

• Put me on their gate list.  Come on it's been 2 years already...I'm starting to get a complex, and have come to realize your promises mean shit...*glares at Grau*
• Called to see if I was alive every once and awhile.  No excuse not to call my house cause of the Gestapoesque questioning session because I have a cell phone now.
• Stopped considering me to have female parts and allowed me to get together with them more than once a month cause the other times they get together is "guys night". Ok..I'm just bitter over that one cause I don't really ever get to see my friends.
• Drugged their kids so they could get out of their goddamned houses to go to Hooters or a movie once and awhile.

Second of all, my friends are all married and most of them have kids so I understand they have responsibilities. But sometimes, I swear they come up with the lamest excuses.   I cannot believe the response to the post about going on a date with a psycho to see spiderman 2 where people said I never asked them to hang out..I call bullshit. Especially to the one with the notoriously HORRID memory. (I swear SOMEONE we know and luv, has Early Onset Alzheimer's...more commonly referred to as CRS.)  I have even asked anonymous poster "S" to hang out! I just don't think he likes me much though, so I gave up on him LOL. Though, I had a blast the last time. "Watch out for snakes!" Trust me, my friends are great for letting me come by and hang out with them. I do appreciate that, but it just sort of makes me feel like I'm interrupting their lives.  I sometimes feel like if I didn't bother keeping in touch with them and I moved away or died or something, it would be months later before anyone realized it. And the sad thing is, it would probably be Contagion who realized it because I didn't respond to the monthly Nerd Day email, or show up to a reenactment event. I was actually really surprised anyone showed up for my graduation party last year. I was touched, but really could have done without the excessive hugging crap. Ewwww!! I think the reason this whole thing bugs me the most is because 1) I know that they call and email each other to catch up, 2) In the past, I have been told by people that they  are ashamed to be seen with me in public...and as illogical as I know it is, I still wonder if that is the main reason no one wants to make time for me; and why I have to press so hard to spend quality time with friends.  Either that, or I am a complete friggin social retard who is horrifically annoying (the latter is more believable). I hate feeling like I'm the only one making an effort to stay in touch. I do luv my friends. I just wish...I dunno...maybe that they would take some time to acknowledge I'm here. Well, at least until I move..then I have to make new friends and will promptly forget about them.

Dutch Guy

Well, just sent an email to the Dutch guy... Keep forgetting about him because we only tend to send email back and forth 1-2 days a week. We've been in contact since the beginning of the year, and every time he has called me (approx every other week for the past few months) I am sleeping or don't catch my phone in time - I refuse to make international calls. Finally got around to asking him wtf he's looking for, since there is the huge distance issue. He had mentioned previously about my coming out for a visit (I do miss Holland so *whistful sigh*, and not just the pot either), but due to my being broke and his weird work schedule it hasn't really seemed a very feasible option at this point in time. I tend to think people are kidding around about stuff like that - offering to fly me to foreign countries, etc...I should know better by now. There is also the psycho factor. All of my friends and contacts from the Netherlands are no longer there, so it's not like I'd have a place to go to besides Sweden or the US Embassy if things went horribly awry. (Think: "It puts the lotion on its' skin or else it gets the hose again!") But, damn..he's got the SEXIEST voice...and judging from the multitude of pics he's sent me....Oh la LA!! I don't figure anything will come of it, but I sort of don't mind things being the way they are. I always have had "relationship issues". I tend to go for guys that are emotionally unavailable or from western european countries that I cannot afford to go to...My main concern is completely irrational: If I blab to him about going out with the puerto rican guy, or that other guy that seems to be on the verge of asking me out, what if he gets pissed? I mean, who cares.  He's in friggin' europe and we have never met sooooo, duh. But, I don't wanna come across like I'm using him for pics and that deep manly voice that makes me just melt. I wouldn't really give a rats ass if he didn't try to call me at least every other week. I gotta figure if someone is making international calls like that, telling me about, and sending pics of their relatives they must be interested in more than just a convo that could easily be had via email. Not like he tries to get me to have phonesex with him or anything; and he has voiced concerns about my more perverted comments. Once he said he was afraid I only wanted him for sex. Wasn't sure if he was being facetious or not but...I'm not a whore, or a free spirit that spreads her legs for anything with a dick LOL. I guess I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing til I find out what's going on. I sort of wish he hadn't called me yesterday, because I sure as shit forgot about him again. Now I just feel guilty, for no apparent reason. I'm single, and if I found out he was dating other women I could care less. At this point we're just friends, if we're even that. Beside, I need new friends...My friends suck. 

Interview-a-rama

Holy crap, it seems I am a hot commodity for job interviews lately. I get the call for the second interview at that one place, I had two other interviews prior to that (one I turned down, the other has been waiting for someone to return from Asia), I have another one Saturday, and one on Monday. Ok, the one on Saturday is friggin HYSTERICAL! I submitted my resume for an Office Administrator Position, no big, didn't expect to hear back from them. Well, a few days later a girl called and said that I had to submit my salary and benefit requirements via email to be considered.  (This is so funny because there are only 3 employees in the company that are not in a union, so I figured I would NEVER get a call back after making the following demands.) Well, I told them I would accept $40k per year (+/- $3k) based upon experience and education (I have more of both than was required) , Health, Dental, and company matching up to 6% for 401K. And I specifically noted I was negotiable on all issues and that the following criteria were a starting point. That way, not sure if there is some legal precedent or anything, but it's not a binding document.  So, I can add on all kinds of other ridiculous demands.  If you have any suggestions, fire away. LOL. Judging from what their requirements were for this position. It's nothing more than a glorified administrative assistant position. I probably wouldn't take it anyway, being a construction company, unless they gave me damned near everything I wanted. Well, I just hope that I get one of these damned jobs. I'm really jonesin' to buy hardware to upgrade my computer.

Interview

Went on the interview today. I thought I sucked, quite personally, but apparently they liked me so much they called within an hour of my leaving their facility for a second interview on Friday. The interviewing manager was kinda hot, and it was funny because he kept sort of forgetting his questions.  I think the clincher was that they apparently liked my approach of asking lots of questions, because he said that it felt as if HE was the one being interviewed and he was impressed. Bad news is the interview Friday is at 8:30 am which means I have to LEAVE my house at 6:15 to make sure I get there in time.  Other bad news is that I was supposed to meet that guy in Chicago later that night, and there is no way in hell I'm driving back home (1.5 - 2 hours) and then driving back a few hours later. On Fridays the traffic is atrocious in the city *sigh*. I wouldn't mind taking up some time shoe shopping, or going to MAC  if I knew I would get the ok on the new job by the end of the interview LOL. Errr, what happens during a second interview? I better do some research today and see what I should expect. BTW, here is the article about them catching the fucker that hurt my friend's daughter.

No Shit, Sherlock

Ran across this as "breaking news" on a newswire site.

"In light of recent news related to salmonella and potential produce contamination, the Partnership for FoodSafety Education advises consumers to follow four simple steps to reduce their risk of contracting foodborne illness from fresh fruits and vegetables and other foods:    *  CLEAN: Most importantly, always wash your hands before preparing and/or eating any foods.  To fight bacteria, always wash fresh fruits and vegetables under running tap water.  Before preparing food, thoroughly clean kitchen appliances, cutting boards, utensils and countertops with warm water and soap."

Russian Roulette

Ok, first of all, I have a job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck...It's not anywhere near as ungodly far as the last one, only 1.5 hours away.  Apparently, there are some rather nice apartments that are only about $100 more per month than the ones in my town, so even with cost of living as far as the location and salary are concerned I should do quite nicely.  (I won't get the job.) Anywho, the job is not what I am worried about. What I am worried about is my date on Friday. Yes, Grau, the dance has begun *maniacal laughter*. First of all, I have to inform you that this is basically the reason I was prompted into blogging. Grau always got a kick out of the psychos I go on dates with. I have a modus operandi that was enacted a year or two ago: If the guy doesn't seem like a homicidal maniac or skeeze, I will go out with him at least once. My friends say that I am too picky (was engaged twice - first one lived in Sweden and claimed that working gave him ulcers; second one lived in Germany and was an alcoholic). So, I decided to lower my standards and at least accept the free food and movie combo that usually occurs on first dates. Hell, none of my friends can go to movies, and I'm broke right now. That equals a win-win situation for me. He seems like a nice young boy. How's this for not being picky:

• 22 years old,
• Puerto Rican,
• Bullet lodged in hip and/or lower back,
• Prior arrest record,
• Lives in Chicago on probation,

Seems like a perfectly nice guy, right? Ok, in all seriousness, I'm taking a knife and going to see Spiderman 2 with him.  I REALLY wanna see Spiderman 2. All of my friends have seen it, and I wasn't invited so it's either the thug, or me, myself, and I. He and I have been chatting online and phone since February. I must admit he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he seems sincerely nice, and actually has ambition so...whatever.  I'm just hoping this doesn't turn into one of my typical dates where you have informed the dumbass for months you don't screw on the first date and then they get all pissed off cause you won't go back to a hotel with em after dinner. Pray for my immortal soul, will ya?

Good News

They apparently caught the fucker that abducted and molested my friend's 12 year old daughter. *sigh of relief* Apparently, he has a $250,000 bond and a minimum of 48 years. Oh, and we all know what happens to sex offenders who hurt kids in jail - for they are the scum de la scum. We can all hope the shivs are sharp and hit vital organs! Ok, off to watch a bootleg version of Troy...mmmmm..muscle-bound men in skimpy outfits..Weeeeeeee!!

Why I'm short

Last week, a friend basically asked me why I'm so short. Well, I gave her a bit of info, but, if she happens across my blog she can read this article about my disorder. But, to those you know me...am I in denial about the section below? Cause I SWEAR I don't feel like I have ANY of those. Keep in mind, if you disagree..I know where you live.

An individual with achondroplasia has disproportionate short stature: the head is large and the arms and legs are short when compared to the trunk length. This shortness is particularly noticeable in the upper arms and thighs. Other signs are a prominent forehead, a flat or even depressed area at the base of the nose (between the eyes), a protruding jaw, and sometimes poor dental structure -- the teeth are crowded and the upper and lower teeth may be poorly aligned.

Fuck, it's 7:30 already?!?!?!?! I have to get to bed...Only 3.5 hours 'til the family reunion starts.....ummmmm *cough, cough* I don't feel so well.

Ewww

Even if it's not true it's damned gross. From NotMilk.com

Sick Fucker

I know I said I was done with blogging, but I found out some really bad news today. My friends 12 year old daughter was kidnapped and raped yesterday. She was waiting on the corner for the bus to go to her babysitting class at the library. He dragged her into the car by her hair and drove her to a cornfield. Fortunately, she was returned by the sick fucker relatively unhurt...or worse. She is doing suprisingly well, and gave such a great description of the guy that they are pretty sure they are going to find him. (The only two things she didn't know was the license plate number and his name.) One good thing about the case is the dumbass stopped for gas and to buy her a pop so they have pictures of him from the camera. My god...I can't believe this happened to her. She's a sweet girl, and NO ONE, especially a kid, deserves to have anything like this happen to them. Like I've said before, I'm not particularly religious, but God was definately looking out for her. I talked to her a bit ago and told her a few things about what had happened to me in a couple fairly similar situations. I didn't lie. Told her it hurts and that it's confusing and scary and not going to go away for awhile, but sooner than she thinks, it won't be so painful. I also told her I was proud of her for keeping her cool and that by her actions she will prevent this guy from doing this to some other person. I have to say the state has some great programs, they are going to give her and her family therapy and she is going to be taking a self-defense class. Jesus, it makes you realize how desensitized you can be to things like this that happen to people you don't know. But, when it hits close to home you wish to God you could go out and rip the fuckers balls off and shove em down his throat. The only consolation I have is that they will catch this bastard and he will become somebody's prison bitch. Last year, her cousin was molested by some crackhead friend of his mother's. I bitched at his mother for letting him hang out with that guy and told her there was something about him that wasn't right. He wound up on the news kidnapping some other kid and raping him. So, guys PLEASE watch your kids, hold them close, tell them you love them at every opportunity and prepare them NOT to talk or hang out with strangers alone. Sometimes paranoia is warranted. Trust your gut!

Done

Since there are only 2 people who read/comment on this site and they are both currently away/offline/dead..whatever...I think I'm done. There have been 2 responses in the past 2.5-3 weeks and I am slowly fizzing out because I can't see much of a point in this whole thing if I'm basically talking to myself. Isn't that one step away from insanity? ANYWHO, I have come to terms with the fact my friends hate me, and I'm boring...I should have stuck with the moving to Delaware thing. They actually talked to me then *snicker*. Well, there's always August, if the plethora of job related calls and interviews I have going on in the next week or two don't work out. If you have any complaints about my insane blatherings, blame Grau..He made me do it!

Job Interview

I had the most asinine job interview today. Drove 5 hours round trip and was there for about 30 minutes. I asked more goddamned questions than the interviewer, and when I asked the question "Based upon what I have mentioned during this interview and the information listed in my resume, what concerns might you have about my fitting into this position" she goes off onto "I am not sure this position would have enough of a challenge for you over the long-term." Ok...who CARES? It's basically a high-paying peon position where the company usually brings in 20something new graduates. Well, before I go off onto that rant, I should mention when I asked the question "what qualities did you most like about the employee who previously held this position" she told me that she wanted to approach it from a different perspective. This was when she informed me that she was going to state that which she LEAST liked about the previous employee, which was her immaturity and lack of experience in the corporate world. Can you say mixed signals? You want someone with work experience, life experience, common sense, and maturity; BUT you don't want someone who is motivated by challenges and likes having goals to strive for and the opportunity for advancement? So, I'm thinking I didn't get that job. Besides, I interrupted her at one point during her ramble session and found the interview to be approached in a haphazard way. I mean, the only two questions she asked me were "Tell me about yourself" which I did in 30 seconds, and "Do you have any questions?" She didn't even really write anything down. I swear to God, this must be some physical presentation thing on my part. They see the last name and think italian chick, and see the fat black midget walking in for the job interview and things go all to hell. I gave a damned good interview. The interviewer even mentioned a problem they were having due to their rapid expansion, and I offered a possible solution and I got "Oh, well...we have an IT department, that's their job". Ok, I can understand her not being particularly interested in what the interviewee has to say, but she had just been complaining about it and how it affected her and her support staff and would be quite problomatic in the future if they reached the 40% growth projected for this year. Judging from what the interviewer stated, and the general feeling I got I am either not going to get the job, or I am not going to take the job. I will still send the "thank you" letter tomorrow since it IS proper procedure. But, sheesh. I am just not built for corporate america anymore. This bitchfest brought to you by IMA...IRATE MIDGETS OF AMERICA UNITE!!!