Question

Why the hell do relatives, and people in general, assume you give a rats ass about them when they decided to come over on a whim and ruin your "me time"? Ok, "me time" basically consisted of eating a meal out of a box and watching tv for 5 hours straight. But I wanted to see A Knight's Tale, goddamnit, not go through the effort of opening the door, letting them enter, and then pointedly attempting to ignore them. I even went so far as to put on the closed captioning so I could READ my fucking movie. (Damnit black people are SO LOUD.) Then they have the audacity, or ignorance, to not recognize that you are ignoring them and press you until you finally acknowledge their existence. I would THINK if you've asked someone a question 3 times, and they continue staring at the television with unwavering focus, that it's not too hard to figure out they don't want to talk to you. (Hmmm, maybe I can understand why my aunt called me standoffish about a month or two ago.) I should win an Oscar for my performances at work. People there find me to be gregarious, outgoing, and a real people person. Except for that manager I called a bitch. Then I got all fired and shit. Come to think of it, it was either that or when I threatened to kill and eat one of my co-workers (and no, I'm not kidding about that one). I should call him up one of these days.

This Sad, Sad World

What is the world coming to when a mugger even has the right to bitch about his illegally gained stash??

the ONION Mugger Can't Believe Crap Victim Has On MP3 Player BOSTON—Following the successful mugging of a jogger in Franklin Park, petty criminal Derek Mesker announced Monday that he cannot believe the shit he's found on his victim's Philips 20GB MP3 player. "3 Doors Down? Maroon 5!" Mesker said, scrolling through the songs. "The new Counting Crows?! Man, I'm glad I pistol-whipped that motherfuck." Mesker added that the first thing he did was toss the device's "gay-ass" teal neoprene case.

*Edited 6/20/04 to reflect the OH so heinous omission brought to my attention by....duh duh duh duh...MR. ANONYMOUS.

I hate you; I love you

At the behest of a very good friend I have attempted to initiate a blog full of the ramblings and rants I vent on said good friend. I think he is merely attempting to make an ass of me, but...since this is anonymous and most importantly FREE, what the fuck do I care? Well all, this is a temporary location until I get my slacker ass employed and can get my 'puter fixed. In which case I can put up nifty pictures and change the layout to something suitable of a girl with my abilities. I will get back to you with information regarding my "personal" crap. In the meantime, I just realized today is Friday - hey, every day is Friday to the unemployed - so, I better go sit alone in my room and get drunk.* *I would like to recommend the alcohol selection at Trader Joe's to the aspiring alcoholic. That $3 wine ain't bad!