I am so Goddamned sick of this

I lost my job today. She was rather nice about it and said it had nothing to do with me. They were REALLY happy with the database work and the Palm program I found and installed for them (to update the database with prospect information for the owner). It was only because it was too expensive for the 3 personnel company to afford and things were really slow right now and they really didn't have any enough work to keep me there. They are planning on bringing someone on part-time. Well, Ummmm don't you think you'd fucking ASK what the amount was to buy out the contract? And don't you think since they SAID it was temp-to-hire, the temporary service would inform them about the amounts for a buy-out on a contract? WTF?? I figure it had to do with my absences since I got hurt, but there is nothing I can do about that. I spoke with her and made it very clear that if it was a problem to please let me know...Come to think of it, she said it was really slow, and it was my hours. She basically could have cared less. I know there were a bunch of days I had to leave early because there wasn't anything left for me to do. I kept finding things for myself. (Created a 26 page document I installed for the Palm Pilot database prospecting software yesterday morning.) I know that I am a fairly intelligent, capable individual. Why the hell can't I get/keep a job? I apply for "real" jobs and get "you're overqualified" or my favorite "we are afraid you would not stay with us if a position in your field came along" Come ON...do they NOT realize the situation for the IT sector??? I'm starting to think this isn't just bad luck, that it's seriously something with ME. Who the hell else has to go through all this? Damnit, I wish I had been able to go to those two job interviews last week. I'm not even sure if unemployment will reopen my case since there is the whole issue with the fraud charges for my mistake with the call-in. I am completely bewildered, pissed, ashamed, and lost. Oh well... All I know is that I am tired of this entire debaucle. It's causing me mental anguish, self-esteem issues, deep depression with suicidal ideations (I now have 3 kinds of muscle relaxants and a fair quantity of vodka in the freezer....which I thought about the entire way home tonight - not healthy). I even started having heart palpitations and dizziness today. Though, I am not sure if that is due to the medications, the pain, or the shocking news of the day and deep sense of despair when I realized my financial situation is going to lead to me likely losing my car within 2 months.

Good News and Bad News

Bad news first: Went to the doctor's office for a follow-up today. He came in, asked a few questions, then tried to twist me to the left. Apparently the wincing and pained gasp I let out convinced him that I need more than to buy a new car like the last doctor suggested. I think I forgot to post about that one. Sooooo:

Went to the doctor's office on 8-19 because I had hurt my back at work earlier that week. The doctor released me to work the next day after prescribing me Vicadin and a muscle relaxant of some kind. Well, I attempted to explain to the doctor that I have an hour and a half drive to work which led to two problems 1) I can't take these pills until I get home at 6:30 at night and 2) by the time I get to work, I can barely walk, and by the time I get home I am in the same condition. Because I am short, I have to hyperextend my hurt leg in order to reach the pedals, and in Chicago traffic you can NOT use cruise control...Well..his solution? To buy a Ford Taurus, because apparently they have adjustable pedals. I sort of looked at him funny and basically held my breath on that one. The only comment I made was along the lines of "I just bought a brand new car 4 months ago and can't really afford a new one right now". To which he rebutted that they were only around $20k or under. Great medical advice, eh? I also sort of wondered about this one: I told him I couldn't take the pain medication at work and he told me "Take Tylenol". Ok, if the doctor feels the need to prescribe fairly heavy duty drugs to ease the pain and promote relaxation and healing, wtf is TYLENOL going to do??? Consequently, I took some that night and it did NOTHING..So I called off work the next day. But what did I expect from a doctor who damned near writes out a prescription for "buy a new car"???

So today I went to a new doctor, and after the freakish display when he attempted to twist me to the left for a range of motion check, he seemed VERY concerned and signed me up for MORE meds (no more vicadin, it wasn't helping so they basically have me on two different kinds of muscle relaxants and prednisone. They tried having me go in for physical therapy tomorrow. But, since I had two days off last week, and one day off this week (and it only being my 3rd week of work) I opted to have it next Tuesday (which means I shall also be missing at LEAST one and a half days of work because the physical therapy appointment is at 1:00 and I find it pointless to get to work at 3:30 or 4:00 and leave an hour later. Ok, now for the good news: Went down to the Clerks Office today and filled out the Certificate of Intention. Once I publish my new "business" in the newspaper for 3 weeks I will receive my Certificate of Ownership. Soooo, I am almost officially a business owner. I have to talk to someone though because I am a bit confused about the EIN (tax id) thing. I don't think I need one. Hmmmm....

BTW

Is anyone else receiving javascript errors? I only seem to be getting them from this weirdass browser that self-installed when I used the cd for the dsl modem software. My IE seems fine. I'm just wondering if that might be presenting a problem for people visiting my site, mayhap? Ok, I smell funny. I am going to take a shower...Goddamned humidity sux ass.

Hmmmmm

I was going to get a domain and transfer the blog there from blogspot. But, then I realized I was averaging 4 posts every week with approximately 3 responses per week and thought..why the HELL spend the money??? LOL! If I get my computer up and running...and figure out how to steal my DSL modem back, I might put up some original 3d graphics, and maybe some mp3's from my fledgling group LHBV. But, that will be a long time in the making. Sooo, I suppose I should post more often, and attempt to bring something to the table to bring the pewling masses to my doorstep, eh?

Fucktard of the Week

It is official, I am starting a Fucktard of the week post based upon conversations I have had with men from Yahoo. I just hope I can remember to stay visible so I can continue to bring these little gems to you. This week showcases a gentleman by the nick of big_mike548. Drumroll please:

big_mike548 (10:50:19 AM): like your pic ME (10:50:28 AM): thank you big_mike548 (10:50:44 AM): you married are looking ME (10:50:56 AM): single..sort of looking but not overly so big_mike548 (10:51:36 AM): maybe it mat be a us? ME (10:51:52 AM): what? big_mike548 (10:52:09 AM): maybe we can go out ME (10:52:21 AM): you're in south dakota aren't you? big_mike548 (10:52:29 AM): yes ME (10:52:47 AM): well..I'm near Chicago...logistically it might not work out as far as "going out" per se big_mike548 (10:53:14 AM): wot can we do? ME (10:53:38 AM): no clue big_mike548 (10:54:41 AM): cool ME (10:55:07 AM): so, what do you do? big_mike548 (10:55:26 AM): dive truck ME (10:56:19 AM): *lil smilie didn't show up during the cut and paste* big_mike548 (10:57:21 AM): maybe i can stop bye seme time *convo died at this point...I wonder why*

Boy, that was a complete waste of 7 minutes and 2 seconds!

Oh, Yeah - Slightly Good News

Last Friday I called back one of the companies I had interviewed with. During the interview the lady said that they would get back to me by 8/13 about the job. Well, I hadn't gotten a rejection letter from them as of 8/20, so I decided to call and make sure I was not worthy of the open position. The lady was out of the office, but was nice enough to call me back fairly soon after. She informed me that I was indeed being held in consideration for the position but they were pretty slow and to try to bear with them. I know she's not yanking my chain, because I had tried calling the day before and the receptionist informed me that the person I was trying to reach had been gone for a majority of the past two weeks. I'm going to gain religion and pray I get this job. I likely won't, but it would be a MASSIVE improvement over my current position. Trying not to get my hopes up, but during the interview she was mentioning an issue they were having and I made a suggestion which included installing ColdFusion. She seemed pretty excited about the possibilities, and judging from the things she mentioned I would be doing, there would never be a dull moment. Plus, they have amazing benefits and overtime, even for salaried employees (which I would be). There is only one thing I am somewhat leery about - since I wasn't sure if there were going to be second interviews I didn't inquire about the pay for the position. But the other job I had interviewed with at the company at the end of July was a liveable wage and this one was supposed to be considerably higher. If any of you believe in Godlike beings pray for my immortal soul (no devil worshippers please). I'm wondering if I am being too positive, or if there is some protocol for inquiring when they fuck they are going to come to a decision when it takes a company more than 2 weeks after the date they said they would notify potential candidates, to notify potential candidates? Any ideas?

My Abject Misery

Not quite along the lines of the Jerry Springer show (which I used to watch when I was down because it made me feel SOO much better about myself), but it'll do...right? Well, my life in a nutshell: The federal government may be coming after me for charges of fraud. I filed for my unemployment when we had a crowd of people over and I must have misheard the dates I was applying for - I had worked for one of the weeks. I was a bit surprised when it came to the final message "Thank you for filing for your unemployment, you worthless sack of shit" without them inquiring about the second week which I HAD worked. Well, since we had people over I sort of forgot about it until I got my unemployment check and realized I got paid for both weeks. So, I promptly called the local office and left a message "Hello, my name is *bleep*, my social security number is *bleep*, and I screwed up on my call-in for unemployment last week. I did work the week of the eighth. Please call me back at *bleep* and let me know if I need to send the check back in it's entirety or if I should send you a check for the overpayment." Well, I didn't get a call back, so I cashed the check - had bills to pay. In the mail today, surprise surprise: "We received information that you worked for the week of August 8th, you is goin' to jail beoootch!" This sucks, cause I was about to quit my job this week. Besides the myriad of other problems (them saying I was getting hired in within 30-45 days and changing it to 90 - I don't go salaried until they hire me on directly, no insurance besides medical, paying $340 a month for gas and tolls, and the crappy-assed pay - btw, figured I am making $10.15/hour net after gas, tolls and taxes are subtracted from the gross amount I am currently earning) I am just plain sick of the job. All I do is type up letters and create pathetic little challengeless databases. Tis a BORE....I wouldn't mind it so much if it were local, but driving 3 hours a day round-trip for the priveledge of being bored and spending almost an entire check on gas is not quite cool. Especially, since I basically turned down job interviews for two companies last week paying about $6-8k more per year than this job would. Anyway, I am going to call the unemployment office and find out if putting over 3,000 miles a month on my car and using a quarter of my net pay for transportation is reason enough to leave a job and still collect unemployment. Then I might start a business or two.