What does the future hold

Ok, I have officially informed the youngin' that I'm going to try him out. Again, not so sure it's going to work out, but...*whines* he's niiiiice...settling isn't THAT bad is it? My brother stopped over here to mow the lawn, and I invited myself over for grilled cheese sandwiches. We sat and talked for hours. After we were done complaining about the psycho bitch which spawned us, he told me about a really kickass program he is enrolled in at the community college here. This immediately made me think "Why the FUCK don't I just enroll, it's FREE!!!" It's called a program cluster for a mass communications program. In case you don't want to go there and check out the class info, here is the summary paragraph from the site:

The Mass Communication Program at Rock Valley College is designed to give students a comprehensive education in Audio, Video, and Motion Picture production. Our production courses are taught in a state of the market multi-media facility using state of the market digital cameras, non-linear editors and digital recording equipment. Students begin hands on training on the first day of class, and are given 24-hour a day, 7 day a week access to the Center for Media Production.

After that, I can either go for my MBA, or go to a culinary arts program somewhere. They also offer this same program at a GREAT college in the Chicago suburbs near where I used to work at; I think I would even be able to pay the lower tuition based on our local community college rate ($51/credit hour). I can't do what I want to do...which is sing...so I might as well go for something else fairly interesting. My dad used to do commercials in our city before he moved to Chicago, and my brother wants to be a director. It makes me feel a tad weird about it since he's 9 years younger than me, but...it really sounds great from what he has been describing. For chrissakes, I'm almost 30 and have done nothing with my life. Yes, I've had a bit more excitement than the average bear, but I yearn for so much more than just looking for a damned office job. I want to do something that requires some creative thought. This would all be so much easier if I didn't have that brand new fucking car - if I only knew then what I know now. My car payments were about $200 less a month and the insurance was lower too. This is a huge chunk of cash when your total amount in unemployment checks per month does not even add up to you weekly checks while employed...*contemplates - Well, there was that issue of the motor "probably" exploding whenever I turned the thing on, so I shouldn't bitch too much.*

Not going to Job Interview

Well, I had printed out directions for the interview yesterday, but didn't look at them well apparently. I know I am not the most perceptive person on the face of the planet lol; but this morning I came to realize that the street I'm supposed to be on doesn't exist. And since I have no desire to drive 2 hours away and search for my final location, I just called and cancelled. Whatever..I'm not in a good mood anyway. But, now I have nothing to do today...Hmmmm.... Oh, btw, yesterday's second interview sucked. But, there's always Monday...or Delaware..or back to school, or... I REALLY need to find myself a Sugar Daddy!

I'm Still Alive

Ok, I just got home. That was a fucking weirdass date, and I have an interview in a few hours so I have to go to bed. Just wanted to get this out so no one went calling the police. I do NOT think I will be seeing this guy again. Genuinely sweet guy and very gentlemanly - opened doors, pulled out my chair, etc , but..well he's 22, and a bit too immature for me to deal with...and he grossed out too easily when I farted (didn't gross him out enough though).  I am so not into the juvenile hand holding, "can I kiss you, yer so purty" thing. And he kept STARING at me...I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I don't care what anyone says, it always makes me think the guy is a homicidal maniac (especially since I don't make much eye contact). Then the basically begging for affection and having weird passive aggressive temper tantrums when I wouldn't kiss or hold his hand...well..I did smack him a couple of times. I'm not a cuddler, a "hold me", "kiss me and tell me that you love me" kinda girl. I just wanna watch porn, eat pizza and jump you in the middle of the night cause I'm spontaneously horny, have an intelligent conversation about some esoteric topic where no one can prove they are right or wrong, roll over and fall asleep kinda girl. Ok, well I do the "hold me" crap when my cramps get bad...but, that's about it, except for one guy I was with. He was the only one I could actually fall asleep if he was cuddling with me. Anyone else I waited til they fell asleep, rolled over, and created a blanket/sheet barrier from skin-to-skin contact. I just feel REALLY bad, cause he didn't have that much money and spent most of it on me today, and I left making a bunch of excuses when he asked if we would get to see each other again soon. Told him I had nerd day, and maybe a family obligation or two, and since I didn't know when/where I'd be working I couldn't make any promises; at which point he said he could take the bus out to my city (has no car, typical in Chicago) and I know I had that deer trapped in headlights look. I don't even remember what the fuck I said, I just tried to run away. I was so addled he even got a kiss after I got into my car and tried to slam the door on him. Gawd....will I EVER find a guy with the qualities I'm looking for? Or will they all be sorta...well, freaks, psychos, or completely adoring guys who are just not my type? Can't there be a completely adoring guy who IS my type out there??? I mean intelligence, sense of humour, honesty, ambition, and physical attraction....jesus are they that hard to come by? Ok, maybe I know what my friends mean by my being picky: I can't deal with people I can't hold conversations with, nor can I deal with ugly people touching me..cept for friends during my graduation party. *snickers and ducks*

Sidebar

Can someone tell me why the fuck my sidebar is way down there? I think it was fine a few days ago??

Why My Friends Suck - Bitchfest

Ok, in my last post I mentioned something about my friends sucking.  I figure I should clarify before I get blackballed from the group from the one entire day I get to hang out with them per month. First of all, they're great for emotional support and all that crap. Especially considering the fact they are all guys.  But it'd be nice if they did things like:

• Put me on their gate list.  Come on it's been 2 years already...I'm starting to get a complex, and have come to realize your promises mean shit...*glares at Grau*
• Called to see if I was alive every once and awhile.  No excuse not to call my house cause of the Gestapoesque questioning session because I have a cell phone now.
• Stopped considering me to have female parts and allowed me to get together with them more than once a month cause the other times they get together is "guys night". Ok..I'm just bitter over that one cause I don't really ever get to see my friends.
• Drugged their kids so they could get out of their goddamned houses to go to Hooters or a movie once and awhile.

Second of all, my friends are all married and most of them have kids so I understand they have responsibilities. But sometimes, I swear they come up with the lamest excuses.   I cannot believe the response to the post about going on a date with a psycho to see spiderman 2 where people said I never asked them to hang out..I call bullshit. Especially to the one with the notoriously HORRID memory. (I swear SOMEONE we know and luv, has Early Onset Alzheimer's...more commonly referred to as CRS.)  I have even asked anonymous poster "S" to hang out! I just don't think he likes me much though, so I gave up on him LOL. Though, I had a blast the last time. "Watch out for snakes!" Trust me, my friends are great for letting me come by and hang out with them. I do appreciate that, but it just sort of makes me feel like I'm interrupting their lives.  I sometimes feel like if I didn't bother keeping in touch with them and I moved away or died or something, it would be months later before anyone realized it. And the sad thing is, it would probably be Contagion who realized it because I didn't respond to the monthly Nerd Day email, or show up to a reenactment event. I was actually really surprised anyone showed up for my graduation party last year. I was touched, but really could have done without the excessive hugging crap. Ewwww!! I think the reason this whole thing bugs me the most is because 1) I know that they call and email each other to catch up, 2) In the past, I have been told by people that they  are ashamed to be seen with me in public...and as illogical as I know it is, I still wonder if that is the main reason no one wants to make time for me; and why I have to press so hard to spend quality time with friends.  Either that, or I am a complete friggin social retard who is horrifically annoying (the latter is more believable). I hate feeling like I'm the only one making an effort to stay in touch. I do luv my friends. I just wish...I dunno...maybe that they would take some time to acknowledge I'm here. Well, at least until I move..then I have to make new friends and will promptly forget about them.

Dutch Guy

Well, just sent an email to the Dutch guy... Keep forgetting about him because we only tend to send email back and forth 1-2 days a week. We've been in contact since the beginning of the year, and every time he has called me (approx every other week for the past few months) I am sleeping or don't catch my phone in time - I refuse to make international calls. Finally got around to asking him wtf he's looking for, since there is the huge distance issue. He had mentioned previously about my coming out for a visit (I do miss Holland so *whistful sigh*, and not just the pot either), but due to my being broke and his weird work schedule it hasn't really seemed a very feasible option at this point in time. I tend to think people are kidding around about stuff like that - offering to fly me to foreign countries, etc...I should know better by now. There is also the psycho factor. All of my friends and contacts from the Netherlands are no longer there, so it's not like I'd have a place to go to besides Sweden or the US Embassy if things went horribly awry. (Think: "It puts the lotion on its' skin or else it gets the hose again!") But, damn..he's got the SEXIEST voice...and judging from the multitude of pics he's sent me....Oh la LA!! I don't figure anything will come of it, but I sort of don't mind things being the way they are. I always have had "relationship issues". I tend to go for guys that are emotionally unavailable or from western european countries that I cannot afford to go to...My main concern is completely irrational: If I blab to him about going out with the puerto rican guy, or that other guy that seems to be on the verge of asking me out, what if he gets pissed? I mean, who cares.  He's in friggin' europe and we have never met sooooo, duh. But, I don't wanna come across like I'm using him for pics and that deep manly voice that makes me just melt. I wouldn't really give a rats ass if he didn't try to call me at least every other week. I gotta figure if someone is making international calls like that, telling me about, and sending pics of their relatives they must be interested in more than just a convo that could easily be had via email. Not like he tries to get me to have phonesex with him or anything; and he has voiced concerns about my more perverted comments. Once he said he was afraid I only wanted him for sex. Wasn't sure if he was being facetious or not but...I'm not a whore, or a free spirit that spreads her legs for anything with a dick LOL. I guess I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing til I find out what's going on. I sort of wish he hadn't called me yesterday, because I sure as shit forgot about him again. Now I just feel guilty, for no apparent reason. I'm single, and if I found out he was dating other women I could care less. At this point we're just friends, if we're even that. Beside, I need new friends...My friends suck. 

Interview-a-rama

Holy crap, it seems I am a hot commodity for job interviews lately. I get the call for the second interview at that one place, I had two other interviews prior to that (one I turned down, the other has been waiting for someone to return from Asia), I have another one Saturday, and one on Monday. Ok, the one on Saturday is friggin HYSTERICAL! I submitted my resume for an Office Administrator Position, no big, didn't expect to hear back from them. Well, a few days later a girl called and said that I had to submit my salary and benefit requirements via email to be considered.  (This is so funny because there are only 3 employees in the company that are not in a union, so I figured I would NEVER get a call back after making the following demands.) Well, I told them I would accept $40k per year (+/- $3k) based upon experience and education (I have more of both than was required) , Health, Dental, and company matching up to 6% for 401K. And I specifically noted I was negotiable on all issues and that the following criteria were a starting point. That way, not sure if there is some legal precedent or anything, but it's not a binding document.  So, I can add on all kinds of other ridiculous demands.  If you have any suggestions, fire away. LOL. Judging from what their requirements were for this position. It's nothing more than a glorified administrative assistant position. I probably wouldn't take it anyway, being a construction company, unless they gave me damned near everything I wanted. Well, I just hope that I get one of these damned jobs. I'm really jonesin' to buy hardware to upgrade my computer.

Interview

Went on the interview today. I thought I sucked, quite personally, but apparently they liked me so much they called within an hour of my leaving their facility for a second interview on Friday. The interviewing manager was kinda hot, and it was funny because he kept sort of forgetting his questions.  I think the clincher was that they apparently liked my approach of asking lots of questions, because he said that it felt as if HE was the one being interviewed and he was impressed. Bad news is the interview Friday is at 8:30 am which means I have to LEAVE my house at 6:15 to make sure I get there in time.  Other bad news is that I was supposed to meet that guy in Chicago later that night, and there is no way in hell I'm driving back home (1.5 - 2 hours) and then driving back a few hours later. On Fridays the traffic is atrocious in the city *sigh*. I wouldn't mind taking up some time shoe shopping, or going to MAC  if I knew I would get the ok on the new job by the end of the interview LOL. Errr, what happens during a second interview? I better do some research today and see what I should expect. BTW, here is the article about them catching the fucker that hurt my friend's daughter.

No Shit, Sherlock

Ran across this as "breaking news" on a newswire site.

"In light of recent news related to salmonella and potential produce contamination, the Partnership for FoodSafety Education advises consumers to follow four simple steps to reduce their risk of contracting foodborne illness from fresh fruits and vegetables and other foods:    *  CLEAN: Most importantly, always wash your hands before preparing and/or eating any foods.  To fight bacteria, always wash fresh fruits and vegetables under running tap water.  Before preparing food, thoroughly clean kitchen appliances, cutting boards, utensils and countertops with warm water and soap."

Russian Roulette

Ok, first of all, I have a job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck...It's not anywhere near as ungodly far as the last one, only 1.5 hours away.  Apparently, there are some rather nice apartments that are only about $100 more per month than the ones in my town, so even with cost of living as far as the location and salary are concerned I should do quite nicely.  (I won't get the job.) Anywho, the job is not what I am worried about. What I am worried about is my date on Friday. Yes, Grau, the dance has begun *maniacal laughter*. First of all, I have to inform you that this is basically the reason I was prompted into blogging. Grau always got a kick out of the psychos I go on dates with. I have a modus operandi that was enacted a year or two ago: If the guy doesn't seem like a homicidal maniac or skeeze, I will go out with him at least once. My friends say that I am too picky (was engaged twice - first one lived in Sweden and claimed that working gave him ulcers; second one lived in Germany and was an alcoholic). So, I decided to lower my standards and at least accept the free food and movie combo that usually occurs on first dates. Hell, none of my friends can go to movies, and I'm broke right now. That equals a win-win situation for me. He seems like a nice young boy. How's this for not being picky:

• 22 years old,
• Puerto Rican,
• Bullet lodged in hip and/or lower back,
• Prior arrest record,
• Lives in Chicago on probation,

Seems like a perfectly nice guy, right? Ok, in all seriousness, I'm taking a knife and going to see Spiderman 2 with him.  I REALLY wanna see Spiderman 2. All of my friends have seen it, and I wasn't invited so it's either the thug, or me, myself, and I. He and I have been chatting online and phone since February. I must admit he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he seems sincerely nice, and actually has ambition so...whatever.  I'm just hoping this doesn't turn into one of my typical dates where you have informed the dumbass for months you don't screw on the first date and then they get all pissed off cause you won't go back to a hotel with em after dinner. Pray for my immortal soul, will ya?

Good News

They apparently caught the fucker that abducted and molested my friend's 12 year old daughter. *sigh of relief* Apparently, he has a $250,000 bond and a minimum of 48 years. Oh, and we all know what happens to sex offenders who hurt kids in jail - for they are the scum de la scum. We can all hope the shivs are sharp and hit vital organs! Ok, off to watch a bootleg version of Troy...mmmmm..muscle-bound men in skimpy outfits..Weeeeeeee!!