New Blog

Please check out my new blog, though it's still in it's infancy (almost 1 whole day old) and the first post is really lame. It will likely be more exciting than this old haunt at Blogger. Rivers of Blood

Eternal Damnation IV (Bet you thought I forgot)

Well, I haven't forgotten, I have been avoiding. Here is the latest bit, but now I have to remember what the hell the plot was supposed to be. I hate how you forget the brilliant ideas you come across while intoxicated. Just in case you missed the previous installments, click HERE As soon as he placed foot into the cell, he vomited. She must have hypnotized him. He had been completely Hers once She locked eyes with his. The man dry-heaved again at the thought. How could he have given up himself to a woman (if She could be called that) as completely vile and corrupt as She? But, in the moment he had called Her Mistress he would have done anything for Her - given up his soul for Her. The man was disgusted with himself. The door to his cell squeaked on its rusty hinges as the guardsman opened it. The man rose, no words were said. None were needed. The only person to whom he had spoken to in weeks had been - Her. He would never call - Her - what She had made him call Her, ever again. Never look into those all-encompassing liquid-green pools of raw animal energy. The man was abruptly shaken out of his reverie as the guardsman untied his hands from behind his back. The man rubbed at his wrists in an attempt to get his blood circulating. Just as he was gaining some comfort, however minimal, another man, dressed completely in black entered the room. The only things clearly visible in the darkness were his face and hands. "Tie his hands to that ring," the new arrival spoke. He pointed to the one he was referring to and the man looked in that direction, eyes widening in shock as the realization hit him. "You may call me, Jehi’azarad," he said as he placed shiny black gloves onto his thin pale hands. He did this slowly, as if he was relishing the sensation. As the guardsman forced the man to stand on a crate placed directly under the metal ring, he continued, "I am here to train you. It seems our Mistress has taken a liking to you," he sniffed disdainfully, looking the man over from head to toe. "I can hardly see why, you seem to have few redeeming qualities." As soon as he finished speaking, the guardsman kicked the crate out from under the man's feet. The man was left swaying from the end of the taut rope from painfully wrenched wrists and shoulders. The man in black cracked a smile, which resembled a grimace. The man thought, through his glaze of shock that this was probably as close as this beast could get to a smile. "Let the training begin." The man in black strode over to the man, standing directly in front of him he waved the guardsman away with one hand. With the other he grabbed the man's left nipple and twisted it hard. Bringing his mouth to the man's ear, he tenderly whispered, "You are mine now," as he stroked the man's chest, almost gently. Rubbing himself against the man, he wrenched his head sideways and gently kissed him upon the cheek. The man began to struggle violently, though he knew there was no escape. "That's right, you helpless bastard, struggle. Resist the breaking as much as you please because I like a challenge." He drew away and began laughing almost maniacally. Pausing to take a breath, he licked his lips and absently murmured, "Now I want to hear you scream." ... After the guardsman let the man down, he collapsed into a dead faint. The pain and humiliation were too much for him. Right before drifting into his world of dark bliss he heard the man in black say, "Same time tomorrow, Brent. Bring him bound and gagged and make sure my toys are set out properly." Brent nodded and slung the man over his shoulder, easily, as if he weighed less than nothing, and carried him to his cell.

Search Engine

Oddest search which led to my site: msn.com for "ar" That's right, 2 letters. That is just weird.

After a nice conversation

My grandmother basically informed me that she actually does not care. She thinks I am a selfish person who only cares about herself and has for years, and that she gave up long ago. I told her a few things about what happened in my past because she claims to "not know me" (I don't recall her ever asking me anything personal or direct, only criticism for years) and I tried to reinforced the fact I am not psychic: if she wants/needs something done she has to tell me, and if she notices something needs to be done she has to tell me because half the time I don't notice it if I'm distracted..and I'm almost always distracted. I have ADHD so I can notice the bathroom has to be cleaned 5 times in one day, but if I get distracted...it isn't going to happen. I also have memory problems from the 23 operations I had as a kid which apparently screwed up both short and long-term memory to a certain extent, and most of the time I can't remember what I had for breakfast 5 minutes after the fact. (Try asking me what the topic of a conversation was about that lasted for more than 5 minutes.) I try to mask it, but people usually think I'm just a complete ditz. My friends think it's funny when I forget their names...It scares the shit out of me. I do weird things to try to remember..like "laundry day" comes up because I've run out of clean underwear. There is no more rhyme or reason than that. It's a surefire indicator that I need clean clothes. I've also been diagnosed with clinical depression. I've had it since I was a kid. I've been trying to kill myself off and on since 9 years old (nothing in the last year thank goodness). So, it makes it a bit hard to not see past yourself when you hate yourself and your life. Perhaps to a certain extent she is right. But, how much of this is due to external circumstances and how much to excuses? And does it even matter? Either way is no justification. The fact of the matter is, I don't care either. I've tried being nice and the things I have done to attempt to show appreciation were never acknowledged or recognized. I understand that people show appreciation in different ways and sometimes the other person doesn't understand it for what it is because it is not their way. But, when you have to point out you were the one that drove someone to the ER and waited with them despite the fact you damned near have a hospital phobia; or that the time they slammed their ear in a car door you were the one to help stop the bleeding and pack it so they could go to the ER (I couldn't drive I was on muscle relaxants)...who fucking needs em. The main difference between her and I is that I can't fake liking someone. I had always given her the benefit of the doubt that she was just a crotchety old woman who must love me somewhere deep down inside...and if she wants to talk about selfish she should think of some of the things she did to me when I first came here. I already think I'm a horrible person, and maybe my friends do too. But, there have to be some redeeming qualities, otherwise they wouldn't let me invite myself over for dinner or accept and help me out at the rendezvous when I offer nothing but an inconvenience due to my inability to do a lot of basic things. So...as far as I am concerned...Grandma can fuck off...and the next time she needs to go to the hospital for a heart attack she had better remember why I am being the selfish little bitch that's handing her the cordless phone and going back to watch tv.

Slightly Annoyed

Ok, personal bitchfest. Can someone please explain this to me because I am a complete loss besides "this person does not give a damn about your personal wellfare". As almost all of you know I had some minor back issue that has been ongoing for the past 2 months...ok..maybe more now that I think about it. I have been going in for physical therapy twice a week and fairly regular doctor's appointments. The doctor is concerned that my back has not gotten back to 100% yet and has basically put me on a bunch of various restrictions - no lifting, no reaching, no kneeling, no squatting, and no standing for long periods of time. (Generally no aggravating your back or knee..if you feel pain STOP!) I am 4'7", and trying to do mundane daily tasks sort of puts me into painful situations. I think this is part of the reason it's taking so long for my back to heal. Example being - if I want to do laundry I have to damned near climb into the washing machine (top loader), the top of the washing machine is about 4" below my neck. So with all of the reaching and stretching I have to do I wind up hurting - it generally takes me 2 days to do 2 loads of laundry. The main issue here is washing the dishes. I don't like to do it, neither does my grandmother. So, for the past month or so I have been washing only my dishes, because technically I shouldn't be doing them because it causes both my knee and my back to start hurting (the twisting and lifting and reaching). I have informed my grandmother that it causes me great pain and that I am technically not supposed to do them. Yesterday was laundry day. They were out of town (of course there was a sink full of dishes when they left) . So after doing a load of laundry I was NOT about to wash those dishes. Coincidentally, my back was hurting the entire day and I STILL had to eat (did I mention cooking hurts?). I get up this morning and all of the dishes are washed except for the ones I had used yesterday (2 pans, both nonstick, a rack for one of the pans, and a collapsible steamer), Am I completely missing something here? Despite the fact I am not supposed to be doing this, I try to do it to keep the peace, despite the pain. But when I don't because I AM in pain - she KNEW I was in pain yesterday - (and she leaves a crapload of dishes that I guess she expects me to do when they went out of town) there they are, waiting for me..the thing I am not supposed to do. Arrrggggggh...Am I being petty?

What President Are You?

Since we are on a quiz kick I decided to post the link to this one. I scored a 9 - I am most like Reagan *sigh* Which President Are You Like?

Swedish

Someone had responded to a previous post I had where I put the word "puss" in the title - puss is swedish for kiss - and it reminded me of a funny thing that happened with mispronounced words in foreign languages. I was reading a children's book in Swedish and my pronunciation was SO bad everyone was laughing at me, quite hysterically might I add. I finally got frustrated and started making up words because I found the language to be so damned ridiculous. I had no idea up until about a week or two ago why it was so funny (and to be honest, I have no idea how I remembered this).

"I satta on the catta and then I made him flatta"

Well, "flata" in swedish is a lesbian. Ok, it's sort of stupid, but it's funny in that "I made up a word and it turned out to be real and funny in context" kinda way. No interesting posts today. I spent 5 hours trying to get Movable Text on a server today only to get pissed and find out that this particular webhost who supposedly supports perl scripts is NOT in fact able to support that program.

Hmmmmm

Found this and thought it was interesting in light of my previous post:

Conservative TV Group to Air Anti-Kerry Film "The conservative-leaning Sinclair Broadcast Group, whose television outlets reach nearly a quarter of the nation's homes with TV, is ordering its stations to preempt regular programming just days before the Nov. 2 election to air a film that attacks Sen. John F. Kerry's activism against the Vietnam War, network and station executives familiar with the plan said Friday."

Don't worry, I'm not turning political.

Michael Moore's a F*ckety- F*ck- F*ck

Yes, my language has degraded to petty slang. I am livid at this point in time because of something I saw on tv earlier today. At first I giggled when I found out Michael Moore's attempts at getting Fahrenheit 9/11 to play on cable were rejected. But, tonight I found out that it is going to be playing on November 1 - the night before elections - on Pay-Per-View. (Another annoying thing is that the only remotely reliable site I found without having to do too much research was in the friggin UK).

Guardian Unlimited "According to reports, Moore is preparing a three-hour special for pay-per-view operator In Demand that features the bestselling documentary sandwiched between fresh interviews with politically-motivated celebrities."

Ok, I am going to make my argument short and sweet.

• If you don't know who you are going to vote for the day, nay the NIGHT, before the elections are to take place - you need a d*mned bib and a helmet.
• If he actually THINKS that 1)Pro-Bush people are going to turn pro-(hiss) by watching his puling vomitous fountain of lies then HE needs a d*mned bib and a helmet and; 2)Why the h*ll would someone who wasn't already a (hiss) supporter pay $9.95 to watch this drivel when you could easily rent it for half that much at your local Blockbuster. Are the celebrities opinions REALLY worth $5?
• Ohhh, and I cannot forget to b&tch about the celebrity interviews: We all definately need to listen to the brainless hollywood liberal crowd giving their righteous opinions about things because we all listen to plastic surgery whores and rich people when it comes to a decision of great magnitude. I don't even buy makeup just because of a celebrity endorsement. Why the f*ck would I elect a president based on their "opinion"??!?!?

*Takes deep breath* Ok, I feel a lot better now. Think I'll go do something productive like download asian porn. That always relaxes me after a rant.

Prepping for ToH II

These are the earrings I have made so far to try to use for blanket trading during the rendezvous this coming weekend. They are pretty simple, and somewhat tacky I think. But, unless/until I get some more money to make more interesting pieces (purchasing silver feathers and trade beads) they will have to do. I'm thinking about making a trip out to Michael's tomorrow (bonus 50% off coupon along with the regular 40% off) and see if I can find some turquoise or rock chips. Depending on if I can sell a single one of these simple little creations will depend on if I bother making any more. I am going to try to do some stitching so I can do something like this. Seriously folks, I would like your honest opinions about the earrings. I know they aren't particularly fashionable, but this is a re-enactment group and has to be period appropriate (so don't go judging them against modern jewelry, please). I am new to making jewelry and tried to make these look as nice as I could with the free and cheap supplies I have at my disposal; but, if they look like crap I would very much like to know so I don't look like more of a fool than normal and/or think I will be able to eat this weekend.

Earrings made with Porcupine Quills and Glass Beads (Click on image to enlarge) Take a poll for your thoughts on the earrings

Teehee

Just call 1-800-SITH Check it out! And don't forget Luke, now with more bling!

What Kind of Handgun Are You?

Ran across this quiz the other day when doing one from Graumagus's site. I think I'm pretty and I even match my car! Now, if only I could afford me and vent my frustrations on the world. Ahhhhh, but to dream. Alas, I am merely a "hamster stuck up some fat guy's butt".
Sig Sauer P226. Greatest gun ever! Feel special.
Beautiful and reliable but can still scare the
living bejesus outta anyone.

What handgun are you?
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