Well...

Grandmother supposedly had a heart attack yesterday before I drove her to the ER. And since I'm not sure if anyone is really reading my blog, I'm going to use it as the perfect excuse not to bother posting for a few days. Did I ever mention that my biological mother is a psycho bitch who has her own version of reality that seriously deviates from any other known human being on the planet? I had to be nice to her yesterday cause..well..her mom had a heart attack. I still got into an argument with her..Told her the family could screw themselves, and she got sorta peeved. Wound up catching her in an error of logic and she headed for the door all smiles and passive aggressive happiness. Did I ever mention that my biological mother is a psycho bitch? Anywho, this works out well cause I don't have to remember to tell my friends on our monthly get together day this Saturday, the unfortunate news. Which I keep forgetting. (God I am so self-centered, bahahahaah) Cept there IS one particular friend of mine who can never come for Nerd Day...cause he's a lifeless fuck. Found out it wasn't a heart attack. It had something to do with her acid reflux. So she's fine and dandy. Later.

New Favorite Show

I am a tad drunk right now, but bare with me. I was watching a show on VH1 called Surviving Nugent. It was friggin hysterical. Premise: They took 8 people and put 'em with Ted Nugent. Whoever survives the experience wins $100k. Ok, you know things are bad when the host almost hacks his leg off with a chainsaw on the first day you are together. Things only went downhill from there:

1. The contestants had to pick up animal shit with their bare hands and anything they could carry it with to haul it into the containers.
2. Next there was the "shit toss" where they got into groups of two. One person was the tosser, the lucky catcher wore a helmet with a bucket on top, squatted behind a bale of hay and prayed they could catch the most shit on thir heads so that they cold get a hot meal.*
3. (Best Part) They played "chicken". The contestants had to run towards a truck going about 35-40mph, past posts marked with monetary amounts. The further they got the more money they made. But, it never got past the first guy. He got hit with the truck and had to go to the emergency room. Apparently, he's ok, in case you care. Favorite Quote "I really feel terrible that...uhh...what's his name got hurt." Ted Nugent
4. The first "elimination event" was a russian roulette of sorts. He had 8 mystery drinks on a lazy susan. One of them contained syrup of epicac. The person who vomited went home. Let me say, I have never witnessed a more beautiful spewing in my life. That muslim girl had grace and great control.
5. The losers of some event where they were acting as horses dragging some cart had to extract deer urine from a freshly killed (pre-gutted) carcass. The animal rights activist/vegan** chick sorta freaked out and refused to do anything with the animal...She opted to dig a hole far away from the grand event.

*The male winner of this event was the guy that got hit by the truck. Talk about a waste of good food! **WTF is an animal rights activist/vegan doing with Ted Nugent? Is she completely oblivious to what Ted Nugent stands for? Cause it sure as shit isn't about saving animals and fighting for their rights, unless it's their right to appear on his table at supper. Dumbass bitch.

Cheaters Never Win? Well, FUCK YOU!

Found out the greatest way to cheat on the Yahoo game Text Twist. It sort of started because I had been playing literati and had problems with the allowable two and three letter words. So I did a search and came up with some program that would show you what words you could form from the available tiles. Well, I just sub the letters from Text Twist, and add a "z" at the end(you have to have 7 tiles and text twist shows 6 letters). I've been on the same game for 2 days now. Up to over a million points. Sure, it might take the fun out of winning fairly, but I like to beat the clock and see if I can get all of the answers filled in with at least one full minute on the timer. Besides, I'm sure I'm not the only one who's thought of that, and last night I was too drunk and sleepy to know how to spell "the" without prompting. Cheating ROCKS!!