Fucktard of the Week

Wow, I was getting a bit concerned I wouldn't get one for you. This one JUST came in. Hot off the presses! What the hell is it with french-speaking dumbasses lately?

jmneo_jm: hi Me: bonjour, je ne parles français bien Me: ne parles pas jmneo_jm: no is good jmneo_jm: you is very beautiful jmneo_jm: and exciting Me: ummm, thanks jmneo_jm: you wants my sexy pics or my cam? Me: uhhh, no jmneo_jm: lesbian? (ROFL emoticon) Me: why would I want naked pics of some strange guy? Me: I don't know you jmneo_jm: bye lesbian jmneo_jm: you is not funny Me: neither are you....pervert jmneo_jm: (ROFL emoticon) jmneo_jm: fuck you biatch jmneo_jm: you and you mother Me: vous êtes un imbecile Me: *yawn*

'Twas a bit lame on my end because I was also in the midst of trying to beg, borrow, or steal some cooking equipment from Contagion for this weekend....shit..almost said he was a nice guy...but he'd kill me because I let his secret out. Wheh! That was a close one... Ok, I REALLY have to go, I ate half of the scottish shortbread dough and am feeling a bit queasy. *hork*

Site of Interest

I was informed that Guinness had a new beer out, and was unable to find any information under the name I had been given. So I decided to just check around at various sites and came across the one below. It reminds me of my friends, and I figured they would get a huge kick out of it, being the beer guzzling drunkards that they are. http://www.briansbelly.com Enjoy!

Eternal Damnation, II

Went on a "date" with a guy yesterday. It was amazingly refreshing to hang out with someone who wasn't a perverted little skeez trying to ply you full of liquor for kinky midget sex. He was cute and the convo was decent....pretty eyes, mmmmm...Oh...yeah the next installment of the story. In case you missed the first, click HERE. Enjoy: "They call Her “Mistress”, like they're saying 'Queen' or somethin’." "She is their ruler. But, I sure as hell don't get why She should traipse over here to our country and imprison US." "Because She can," spoke a third voice from the dark. "Some people need no more reason that that." The voices paused. After a few minutes the first speaker resumed, "I wonder where She's from?" "Across the ocean I figure. Don't know of anyone on this continent with an accent like that." You could almost hear him thinking before he continued in a pondering voice, "Funny though, the people She's brought over, none of them talk the same way." He paused again briefly, "It's almost as if She managed to pick them up along the way one-by-one." The man sat in his cell and shuddered. If they only knew, he thought. Drawing his knees to his chest, the man gazed into a pitch-black corner and began to wait. The man awoke to a foul smell. It was his breakfast - or was it his dinner, perhaps? It did not matter, time was irrelevant here, and he was definitely not going to eat that slop anyway. He knew there was nothing for him to do but wait. He had to think of something to occupy himself in the meantime. Anything at all, because he just needed something to draw his mind away from this dank, dark place. Perhaps, if he thought of his wife - That always seemed to make him happy. Abbey was a beautiful woman. From the first moment he saw her until the last, his heart fluttered in remembrance of the fact. Tall, red-haired, green-eyed, impish grin, and a wit so sharp it could slice cleanly through a diamond. She was smart and beautiful, intriguing and enlightened. Abbey broadened his mind and elevated his spirits. A happy sigh escaped him, the only sound in the cell besides that of the rats scurrying to devour his meal. The man's right hand involuntarily went to his left, attempting to rub the ring that should have been there, instead he rubbed only flesh - dirty flesh that would never again be able to hold or caress his beloved. His happy sigh turned into a sad one; with that hiss of air came the disappearance of hope. The man knew he had nothing to live for, not even memories.

What a Wonderful Day

Today has completely sucked ass, and it's only 4:40. I still have a few hours left...wonder what's going to go wrong in the meantime, lol. Had a job interview this morning that was SUPPOSED to be at 9am...well, around 8:45, after sitting in damned near stand-still traffic and not being anywhere NEAR the place I was to be interviewing at, I had to give the guy a call and say I was going to be a bit late. He was ok with it....then I got lost. After driving on the highway that leads to INDIANA I finally found a road to turn off onto and stopped at a gas station. The gentleman informed me that I was about 2 towns away from where I needed to be, and it would take me at least half an hour to get there (it was now 9:30). So I called up the nice gentleman at the company and said that I would not be able to make it until around 10am, that I understood if this was not acceptible, and that I was embarrased by my obvious inability to read. He told me that he had someone coming in at 10:00, but that if I could hold out he could schedule me in for 11. Sooooo, I got lost several times on my way to the facility in the meantime, and stopped off at the Starbucks he suggested I wait at. At 10:45 I went and had the interview. He was VERY nice and AMAZINGLY understanding. Even going so far as to tell me that he can't remember how many times he has gotten lost and been late to meetings with clients, and that it happens to the best of us. Got back into town and everything is great, EXCEPT..."shit...I have physical therapy in 15 minutes". Soooo, I schlep off to my physical therapy appointment, sans my pool attire and big fluffy towel. Had to explain the situation which left me feeling stupid because I forgot my stuff last week (though it worked out because I cancelled on Tuesday and Thursday the water in the pool was murky so I couldn't get in anyway). I'm done with physical therapy around 1:45 - YAY, she didn't make me do the treadmill or anything (all this driving made my back and knee into great barrels of happy-fun-time pain) - and remember that I have to see the doctor today, and can't do that until after 3. SOOOooo, I come home, sit for 45 minutes, and have to go back out to that infernal place. So all of the wonderful sunshiny mellow non-hurting feelings I had from the physical therapy (which consisted of being hooked up to the T.E.N's unit thing,and getting a massage from the physical therapist - remind me to get her a Thank You card and a dozen roses at the end of this) were completely undone by changing clothes, driving back out there and sitting in those gawdawful chairs for 35-45 minutes...all for a 5 minute one-on-one with the doctor. Sidenote: I have recently come to realize I am a horrible flirt. I flirted with the male nurse, and with the doctor...I'm pretty sure I was flirting with the two women in physical therapy. How the hell have I been blind to this for so many years? I still can't figure out when someone is flirting with me unless it's accompanied with a blinking neon sign that reads "He's flirting with you, dumbass". Anywho....NOW I am about to venture off to get corseted by a friend, and then I have to do a shitload of sewing for this weekend. All on 3 hours of broken sleep. I don't think I'd care so much if I had adequate sleep and didn't feel like someone had shoved a red-hot metal rod down the right side of my spine....All I can say is nobody better fuck with me. Cause they are goin' DOWN.

*Grumble, Grumble*

Damn you people and your infernal food comments. Sally's got me craving Irish soda bread with a PASSION. Due to That1Guy I would kill a man for a good german brew. Graumagus has me hankering for apple cider donuts. FoodTV has be craving pies (stupid pie weekend). And for reasons completely unbeknownst to me I feel the neeeeed for scottish shortbread and cornish pasties. I've been trying to cut down on what I eat...today was a complete failure. I had fruit and toast for breakfast - ok, off to a good start. A few hours later I went to a friends house and promptly ate a crapload of parmesian/garlic(??) Cheezits, a pizza puff, some french fries, and a hunk of feta from my salad (leaving my gyro and the remaining salad for two more meals). Got home and gorged on a banana 2 hours later. My goodness, I'm a little piggie. To top this off, I feel that I am going on a baking spree over the next few days so that I can take the goodies with me to Belvidere. Because Lord knows that if I am going to bake a bunch of crap, I do NOT need it sitting around my house tempting me. Better to bring it out to hungry people who will eat dirt if presented to them on a wooden plate. Hmmm, on second thought, I might have to hide a loaf of the soda bread and some pasties and some shortbread...and...and....*stomach grumbling*....OK, I better go to bed before I raid the fridge again. Tomorrow will be busy. I have to start making a new bodice (for our rendezvous in Belvidere this weekend), fix my old chemise, bake some crap, and get started on knitting a shawl. The shawl will be the easiest thing. It will probably take me 2 hours (YAY KNITTING MACHINE). Ok, none of you care...Well, fuck off! Can you tell I ran out of smokey treats today? Getting belligerent and acerbic. (A friend called me that today. I have NO idea where she got that from. I'm sweet as pie. *drips...and you hear a sizzle*)

OOGIES

Well, a few minutes ago I was going through a bag filled with old paperwork. It was mostly crap from 2002 that I had decided was long in need of being trashed. Well, in the midst of going through my cleanup, I thought I heard something weird coming from the bag. Well...I took a peak inside, and came across my little friend. I was a bit taken aback for a second and had to close the bag and look back inside to make sure I wasn't on the paranoid side. Nope, little sucker was still there....damnit. Sooooo, after looking around for an implement of torture...errr...something to pick the snake up with - garter snake or not I'm not picking it up bare-handed - I realized I had nothing at all besides some clothes I was going to donate to Goodwill this week. Fuck...only thing I could think of doing was removing all of the papers and keeping the snake in the bag, which I would then dump outside. Unfortunately, I think he was a smart lil fucker and realized he had been caught, so he tried slithering his way up the bag. I looked down and there was his little head about 3/4" from my hand. I'm not a huge pussy but...errr....I dropped the bag. After about 5 minutes of handy Swiffer action (those things are good for clearing snakes from your house too, let me tell you) I got him the hell out of my house. I think I squished him a bit though. Garter snakes stink and I'm not altogether sure if that pungent aroma comes from them as a deterrant to predators, or after you squish em a bit too hard....But you try getting a snake out of you damned house armed with a Swiffer and tell me how you pinned the little bastard down oh so gently so as not to crush it in about 15 different places. I'm not one for killing creatures (besides bugs and people), but I'm starting to think I should just kill the snakes. I feel so bad for inflicting the big cruel world upon their broken bodies. The breaking is something I seem to be particularly good at no matter how gentle I try to be. All they want to do is hide away in a nice warm, dark spot. But, I squish them and make them fly...Hmmmm, maybe I'm doing them a favor. Yeah, I'll keep telling myself that the next time I crush and toss a snake outside. I'm sure I'll get plenty of opportunities. Yet another I look forward to moving into my own place: apartment in the suburbs of large cities rarely have snakes.

Eternal Damnation

Well, here is the first installment. This is not one of the stories to be completed in a month. It sort of gets completed whenever the hell I bother completing it. I will try to do updates once a week at the very least. But, in the meantime I will post tidbits of what I already have written every day or every other day (Mon-Fri) of this week. Then I will start posting by chapter. Hopefully, things won't get horribly muddled. I never finish anything, so I might get confused. Besides, I'm sort of anal about things and go over them again and again so I hope that I don't produce a less than quality product by not going about my usual process. If you like the tidbits/installment segments, tell me. Likewise if you don't like them. Just let me know, and if I get a majority vote saying they suck I will stop posting them. I'm cool either way, my dreams of being published are long gone, LOL. "I am not immortal, merely long-lived." "An issue of semantics - what is the true difference?" the man asked with exasperation. "Very little; but there is no way your kind can harm me." She smiled at the man as if he were a child, condescendingly. "So there is no hope for mankind." He said this not as a question, more as a statement of fact. "None…" Her eyes shifted to the window, "None but to serve," She said under Her breath in a near hiss. Never removing Her gaze from the snow-laden field, She raised a slender hand and signaled the guardsman that stood stiffly at the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. He silently strode over and grasped the man roughly, withdrawing him from Her quarters. The man went without a single thought of disobedience. There was no point to rebellion. Thus was the way things were; thus was the way things were to be. Upon leaving the room, the guardsman handed the man a piece of black cloth. The man knew the routine. Mechanically, he placed it; methodically, he tied it and positioned his hands, wrists crossed, behind his back. The guardsman bound them with rope and checked the blindfold. Once satisfied, he snapped a leash to the man's collar and they set out down the hallway.