The Perfect Guy

After that last post, I reminded myself of a gentleman who I started conversing with at the beginning of this month. He's British, in his 50's, employed as a forensic doctor, loaded, and submissive (servile domestic). Excepts from his emails:

(9/02/2004) I am ... 6' 3' 220. Born in London, I have lived in the States for 12 years, originally in Boston and here since 1993.... I also wash, cook and clean and nothing pleases me more than spoiling and pampering my lady, I can also be controlled sexually, domestically and financially.... (9/11/2004)You are an amazingly attractive woman and I would hope that you would allow me to stay in touch until such time as my work here is completed.... I hope we can meet real soon as I have not met anyone ... either as attractive or as personable as you.

Hmmmmm, I think I might have to keep talking to this one. Ok, let me put it to you in terms you might understand before you get grossed out by the guy being approximately a quarter of a century older than me: The above guy would be a better prospect than the 22-year old Puerto Rican kid that is on probation and didn't graduate from high school (and currently has no permanent residence)...riiiiight? *smirk* Hell, maybe if I put out he'd buy me that custom made canvas tent I want for rendezvous LOL.

Men, Weirdos, and Creeps - Oh My!

Was chatting with an individual today who mentioned that I had issues because I did not enjoy being objectified as a sexual object because of my height -there are a shitload of men online who figure because I am short I can fulfill some fucked up midget fantasy they have - and I came to realize that I think a lot of men are really scummy. Then I thought about the occupations of a lot of the assholes that msg me and act like friggin perverts. Not all of them are the uneducated masses like my friend big_mike548. A lot of them are managers, techies, owners of companies. Then I considered the fact that statistically speaking with just the tiny crossection of society that hits upon women and seem to have odd fetishes like midgets and severed limbs (thanks Ktreva), what a hell of a lot of perverted weirdos there are in this small, small world. I think I am beginning to hate and fear men. I've always had issues with men ranging from abandonment issues from my biological father, physical and emotional abuse from my step-father (with the occasional death threat), rapes, attempts at Arkansas' version of "keepin' it in the family", an issue with a very close person that emotionally scarred me to the point that the mere thought of being touched by another male literally made me vomit for about 3 years, and a myriad of other events that I am not going to mention. I have basically made my peace with my past, but I figure I've reached overstepped the boundary for TMI already. Anyway, I mention that crap so that there is the understanding that I DO have issues, and well-founded issues at that. DESPITE my issues I still have the ability to love wholeheartedly and unfailingly. It takes a HELL of a long time to get me to trust you as far as I can throw you, but once I do it takes a lot to get me to deviate from that. Ok, now my concern is that the issues I have, based upon past experiences and traumatic events, coupled with the fact most of the guys I run into online are perverts is making me a man-hating shrew. I am afraid that whenever I see some guy, that he's going to be thinking particularly creepy thoughts that he only keeps at bay in one-on-one situations because of things like getting kneed in the testicles or sexual harassment suits. Which consequently means most men are lying, assholic freaks only showing their true personality, wants, and desires on the fairly anonymous internet because of the nature of the medium and the fact they cannot get maced, kicked in the nuts, or sued. Obviously the things they state online are things they are thinking. They just do not feel as free to make those statements in person. I cannot imagine some guy coming up to me at the grocery store stating "Damn...you're short...fucking you would be kind of kinky. [BTW} [H]ow big are your breasts?" And yet, I get that all of the time online. It has gotten to the point that I had my yahoo messenger on invisible status for approximately one year because I was getting sick of guys messaging me "got cam?" "want to play?" or some weird line that translates to "wanna see me play with myself?" I have male friends, they are all normal and consider me to be repulsive - an item of which I am reminded of a BIT more frequently than I care for, LOL. And the thing is that I know they don't run around doing this crap. And these friends are sick, twisted motherfuckers who probably need to be heavily medicated and put into anger management programs and psychiatric wards. It's the others that scare me. Doctors, lawyers, CEO's, presidents of companies, managers. Trust me, I'm not an attractive girl, so men don't even look at me twice as a general rule unless it's in shock at my height or something. So it's not as if it's some egomaniacal thing - they all want meeeeee...NOT. It's just seriously starting to freak me out what men are turning into. If that much of the population is SO obsessed with getting off what the hell is going to happen with the next generation? They surely aren't going to be held by the confines of the internet. Next thing you know there will be some girl walking down the street surrounded by men heavily involved in a circle jerk.

Fucktard of the Week

Ok, I have been reminded that I have been slightly remiss in my weekly fucktard segment. This is one of the first convos I ran into in my log from last week...btw, sorry about the TMI and nonsensical bits..I was a little high on muscle relaxants.

chrism_stc: (asked what a HNG is) ME (11:53:36 AM): horny net geek chrism_stc (11:54:11 AM): lol -okay, i'm horny -but i dont think i'm a net geek -how would i know? ME (11:54:52 AM): I don't much care...you mentioned you're horny, and thereby lost my interest in bothering to converse with you chrism_stc (11:55:34 AM): lol -oh, you are one of those- chrism_stc (11:55:45 AM): you are horny too -you just dont know it... ME: (I happily went to play Yahoo Pyramids and completely forgot I was talking to him...after reading the above, I sorta got pissed and ranted) ME (12:11:10 PM): Yes, it's fun being horny and blind to it when blood is flowing out of you vagina like niagara falls ME (12:11:12 PM): and the blood clots ME (12:11:32 PM): oh yeah...can't forget the diarrhea..cause nothing is more arousing than the mixture of blood, diarrhea, and toilet paper in the toilet bowl.... ME (12:11:33 PM): fuck off

Hmmmm, maybe I should have taken the time to find one of the good ones...But, it's 4:30 in the morning and I don't much care to be bothered with putting forth the effort. Anyway, how the HELL does someone that didn't grow up under a rock or in a monastary NOT know they are horny? Gotta wonder if this ploy works a lot:

'lol -oh, you are one of those- you are giving me a briefcase full of $1,000 bills - you just don't know it...'

Use the force, Luke!

DOH!

Can you say MORON boys and girls:

Authorities halt man's eBay offer to sell vote ELYRIA, Ohio (AP) — It took authorities just 12 hours to hear about and stop a man's eBay offer to sell his vote. James Pengov, 36, of Elyria, said he was hoping to land enough money from selling his vote to pay medical bills. "Up for auction is MY VOTE!," said Pengov's Aug. 19 posting on the online marketplace. The item, advertised as "Presidential Vote for Sale," with a starting bid of $50, was yanked 12 hours after it was posted.

Some people really shouldn't breed.

Errrr, wtf?

Was reading an article on MSN Careers - biding time before I head off to my physical therapy appointment - and came across this little tidbit that damned near made my jaw hit the floor: Ashton Kutcher, actor, majored in biochemical engineering at the University of Iowa. Gawd, I always figured he was a collosal tard...Not necessarily due to typecasting, but...when I've seen him in interviews he doesn't appear to be very cerebral. Well, will wonders never cease?