Dutch Guy

Well, just sent an email to the Dutch guy... Keep forgetting about him because we only tend to send email back and forth 1-2 days a week. We've been in contact since the beginning of the year, and every time he has called me (approx every other week for the past few months) I am sleeping or don't catch my phone in time - I refuse to make international calls. Finally got around to asking him wtf he's looking for, since there is the huge distance issue. He had mentioned previously about my coming out for a visit (I do miss Holland so *whistful sigh*, and not just the pot either), but due to my being broke and his weird work schedule it hasn't really seemed a very feasible option at this point in time. I tend to think people are kidding around about stuff like that - offering to fly me to foreign countries, etc...I should know better by now. There is also the psycho factor. All of my friends and contacts from the Netherlands are no longer there, so it's not like I'd have a place to go to besides Sweden or the US Embassy if things went horribly awry. (Think: "It puts the lotion on its' skin or else it gets the hose again!") But, damn..he's got the SEXIEST voice...and judging from the multitude of pics he's sent me....Oh la LA!! I don't figure anything will come of it, but I sort of don't mind things being the way they are. I always have had "relationship issues". I tend to go for guys that are emotionally unavailable or from western european countries that I cannot afford to go to...My main concern is completely irrational: If I blab to him about going out with the puerto rican guy, or that other guy that seems to be on the verge of asking me out, what if he gets pissed? I mean, who cares.  He's in friggin' europe and we have never met sooooo, duh. But, I don't wanna come across like I'm using him for pics and that deep manly voice that makes me just melt. I wouldn't really give a rats ass if he didn't try to call me at least every other week. I gotta figure if someone is making international calls like that, telling me about, and sending pics of their relatives they must be interested in more than just a convo that could easily be had via email. Not like he tries to get me to have phonesex with him or anything; and he has voiced concerns about my more perverted comments. Once he said he was afraid I only wanted him for sex. Wasn't sure if he was being facetious or not but...I'm not a whore, or a free spirit that spreads her legs for anything with a dick LOL. I guess I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing til I find out what's going on. I sort of wish he hadn't called me yesterday, because I sure as shit forgot about him again. Now I just feel guilty, for no apparent reason. I'm single, and if I found out he was dating other women I could care less. At this point we're just friends, if we're even that. Beside, I need new friends...My friends suck.