My Dream this Morning

I hate my dreams. They are weird. I much prefer when I go to bed, wake up, and there is a complete blankness in between. Whenever I tell people about my dreams they look at me like I'm nuts...well I'm going to give you the opportunity to tell me if this is normal. I actually remember parts of a dream I had last night. I was sort of pissed because my alarm clock went off in the middle of a sex dream...Those are few and far between - I don't tend to turn into a nympho and think of sex 24/7 unless I'm PMS'ing or in a relationship. Anyway, I turned the alarm clock off and went back to sleep. I can't remember the very beginning of the dream, but I was cuddling with Ron Jeremy on a big black leather coach watching his digital cable (he had the remote). We were trying to decide what to tape with his TIVO when someone came to the door bearing a letter for me. It seemed my sister had been murdered. Well, Ron Jeremy was nice enough to accompany me to try to find her murderer so we loaded up into his baby blue Volvo (the most inconspicuous car in his collection) and went off to find the address - despite the fact we all lived in the same town, there must have been some falling out between my sister and I because I had NO idea where the hell she lived, or what the house looked like. Well, we went down the road looking for the address. Where the house was supposed to be there was a cemetary, and Ron and I got out of the car and walked into it. This is where things get a bit fuzzy for me and a bit weird. We kept walking and made it to this large clearing with a tree stump, a pool of water and a statue, along with 3 other people just sort of standing there. At first I thought they were zombies until one screamed "Look out" and this HUUUUGE oak tree dissected itself horizontally and a wooden round popped out and started attacking us. The three other people used guns to try to shoot it, but it wasn't working. Ron screamed at me to use my hands...I looked at him blankly and he showed me that if I raised my hands, palms displayed toward the object attacking me, green lasers would come out and destroy it....Well..my aim sucked ASS....the guys with the guns wound up shooting it. Well, then more of the rounds of wood came out and some other things started attacking us too...it was a little thing that was from some video game or other and was easily dispatched of. After we killed the tree, a bird flew towards us and everyone gasped. Someone said "It's the blue bird of ...."(can't remember..it was very specific) and we all watched it as it landed on the stump (not the stump from the tree we just killed...for some reason there seemed to be of great significance at the time). I remembered that I had my digital camera, so I tried taking a picture of the bird. For some reason there was no color and a man's head came up. I realized that if I spun the dial where you choose your camera settings that it would play a movie. So, I watched some brown and grey bum pull the weirdest gun I have ever seen in my life and point it at me. For some reason I figured out that if I spun the dial any longer my head would get blown off. The bird disappeared and the man appeared and told me that my sister was not killed but was the keeper of the dead and I could have all of her possessions because I defeated the killer tree. I then asked him if my head would have actually been blown off if I had kept turning the dial. He said yes...and the dream ended. Well, this one wasn't all that WEIRD..not like the one were we had to put the babies on top of the fabric we used to sew footballs for the school..There were these HUUUUGe ladders, and it was really hard to carry the babies up and stick them in the lockers...and all of the fabric was paisley...There was a lot more than that, but the guy I was dating at the time told me my dreams were sort of fucked up.